- 7 years ago
- Wedding: January 2011
Sorry, I wrote a novel!
So here’s some background:
I’m American, he’s Canadian. We’re getting married because we’re madly in love and feel compelled to be together forever – but if marriage was not required for me to live with him in Canada, we would wait until we were in a better position financially so we could invite more people.
He’s paying for almost the entire wedding. My parents are not contributing a cent, although they are comfortable financially and approve 100% of the marriage. His parents, who are retired, are giving us a generous gift to help with our wedding (~1k, I think). I am a student (finishing my degree in May, yay!) and not able to contribute anything beyond my dress and his ring. In addition to paying for the wedding, my fiance will be paying for the cost of bringing me to Canada (application for permanent residence) and supporting me until until I find a job there.
So because of the above, we’re having a small wedding in Canada, with 40 people. Despite the wedding being small, we’re having it in a beautiful location with amazing food (not a buffet). We were only able to invite immediate family plus aunts/uncles/cousins. The only non-family we’re inviting are: a couple that’s friends with his family, four of his closest friends (who he’s been friends with since grade school) and their significant others, and one of his friends he met at work whose wedding we recently attended. Another of his friends is doing our photography for free and will be sitting down for dinner and free to enjoy himself later in the evening.
So here’s my question… who can throw a shower? I don’t care if it has to be a couple’s shower since the guestlist is mostly his, but a shower for just me would be the coolest thing ever. I really want one, because we are young (mid 20’s)and have nothing! He is in his first apartment without roomies, I am a student.
I know that the Maid/Matron of Honor, wedding party, or an aunt usually organize the shower. None of these are an option for me!
Maid/Matron of Honor: We’re not having a bridal party because we couldn’t get it below 3 bridesmaids (sister in law, two future sisters in law) and 5 groomsmen(my brother, his 4 closest friends). We thought that a 40 person wedding with 10 of the attendees standing in the front was ridiculous, so we decided to scrap that. Our families are aware of our reasoning and I’ve told my non-bridesmaids that they would have definitely been bridesmaids if we’d had a larger wedding!
Aunt: I don’t really have one. Well, my mom has a sister, who I’ve met once. We’ve never even talked on the phone, exchanged christmas gifts, etc. I wouldn’t know her if I met her on the street. (My fiance and I didn’t invite relatives that we don’t know at all). Also one of my uncles has an ex-wife, who I did invite because I think highly of her and because she’s the custodial parent of my only cousin. I’m not certain that she will come, and I’m not comfortable hinting to her that I’d like a shower when she’s only my aunt by a marriage that doesn’t exist anymore!
Cousin: See above! My only cousin is female, but 18.
So my question is, given all the above, am I allowed to throw myself a bridal shower? If not, are my future sister-in-laws or my current sister-in-law? If not, is my mom allowed to?