(Closed) HELP! So confused!!!

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

He’s a very kind man who is annoyed by his fiancee’s child?  Doesn’t sound that kind to me.  I’m not saying you should leave for certain (only you can know that), but these are some serious red flags he’s throwing up.

Post # 4
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

He clearly has some odd committment issues; it’s like he fears certain committments, but pushes/forces himself into them, and then freaks out and backs out. What has he said about backing out of your engagement? Are you engaged currently?

Personally it would be hard for me to deal with this; it would literally eat away at my nerves! Have you suggested couples counseling, perhaps? That could be helpful to sort of fish out what he’s thinking/going through. It sounds as if maybe he suffers from some form of anxiety.

Bottom line, it isn’t fair to you or your son, so you should either find steps towards a solution (such as counseling) or make a decision about moving forward with your own life. 

And welcome to the Bee! 🙂

EDIT: You call him your fiance so I guess that answers my question about whether you are engaged currently. Sorry! Do you have a wedding date planned?

Post # 5
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Maybe it would be good to take a breather for you both. You both need to evaluate, you for your son, and he needs to decide what he wants. It sounds like he gets cold feet at making a commitment. Stepping away might help you both come to an understanding on moving forward. If it were me I would let him know he needs to make a decision he plans to stick with and personally I would feel insecure with being yanked back and forth like you are. He’s not being fair to you or your son:(

Post # 6
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m sure you both love each other, but it just doesn’t sound to me as though he’s ever going to be able to take the next step with you. 

Always trust your gut. Always. How many times do we say this in retrospect? “I knew it then and I wish I had trusted my gut” versus “I followed my gut instinct and now I regret it”?

Post # 7
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

You are a human being, with needs, feelings, and responsibilities… you are not a yo-yo.

Post # 8
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Sounds like he rethinks every big decision and that is not a good thing at all IMO.

Post # 9
Member
1280 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

You have a son and unfortunately it sounds like your Fiance is not committed to you  and your future.  I would suggest putting yourself and your son first and taking the job in Houston…if it’s still an option and moving on and forward with your life….this guy doesn’t sound like he’s in for the long haul….but this is just my opinion….Good Luck to you in whatever you choose.

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