Post # 1
Ack, I don’t know what to do. We are having a very small wedding with close friends and close family. Our guest list is 60 people max (including us).
Some aunts and uncle’s whom neither of us have spoken to in many, many years or who live way out of town did not get invited. We have not sent out invitations yet, but have sent out Save-The-Date Cards to those we are 100% inviting.
One of FI’s uncle’s who was not on our list just purchased a gift on our honeymoon registry. I don’t know what to do! It was very generous and thoughtful and obviously word of mouth got out.
What do I do from here? Fiance considers him a distant uncle. Do we try to invite him if we can figure out if there’s room? Do we send a thank you now or after the wedding? Do we thank him but not invite him? Do we invite him and hope he doesn’t come because it would require a flight?
Help, please. I’m in a panic. You would think the first gift would be exciting, but it just opened up an etiquette can of worms!
EDIT: Where on earth are the paragraphs? Sorry for the walll of text!
Post # 3
Posted this late last night…hoping the daytime bees can offer some insight 🙂
Post # 4
Send a genuine thank-you, that’s it.
Some of the most generous gifts we received were from people we did not invite to the wedding and who knew we had no intention of doing so. My boss, his dad’s friend from grad school, his parents’ neighbors, my parents’ neighbors….
Post # 5
@crystalrae: Is he by chance aware that he wasn’t invited? We received some gifts from people that weren’t invited, but they just wanted to get us something! From your post I’m assuming invitations haven’t been sent out yet, which is a sticky situation. I don’t think a gift makes you obligated to invite anyone.
Post # 6
@crystalrae: If it were me I’d just invite him….chances are that many people aren’t gonna do this and he sounds as if he was eager to get you something for your wedding!
I’d personally feel very bad if someone got me a generous gift and I didn’t invite them!
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
We, too, had a small wedding, and we also received gifts from people who were not invited. We just sent heartfelf thank yous to those individuals.
Post # 8
This happened to me with 1 uncle, we just invited him. I think it depends on how many people it will add to your guest list.
Post # 9
As invites haven’t gone out yet, I’d invite him.
Post # 10
@almostmrsj: @lovekiss: @Brideonabudgetlauren: We’re going to chat with FI’s dad about it and ask him his thoughts. Hopefully he can provide some insight over whether he would be upset to not be invited. I don’t know why it makes me feel so guilty!!
@housebee: @Button: @weddingbound: I think it would be nice to extend the invitation but we are going to have to work our guest list to figure out how to fit him in because he’d probably need a plus one. He’s from out of town so he may not even be able to make it.. plus we don’t even know if he’s married but will try to get that intel from FIs father! It’s really tough because we have a strict guest cap, and I hate the idea of doing batch A and B invitations, but I may have to consider it, especially for Out of Town guests.