posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
173 posts
Blushing bee

Does he know when/where your wedding is? I would say ignore him, but put everyone (your stepdad and rest of your family) on high alert. If you want to address it you need to be direct and stern – you have not been in my life I do not want you giving me away. Make sure he understands those are your wishes and not those of your moms and step dad.

Sorry you’re going thru that! Best wishes. 

Post # 3
1776 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would say that depending on how serious the threats are, you should document everything and get a restraining order.  

Post # 5
3473 posts
Sugar bee

Very simple: contract private security and make it very clear that neither this man or any one accompanying him is to enter the premises.

Post # 8
5152 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
teefry:  How does he know the wedding location and date? I would alert your day of coordinator and show them a picture of him. If he shows up, the police are called immediately. Do you have  proof he threatened your step dad?

Post # 10
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

View original reply
teefry:  I dont have an advice, that sounds so tough, but in a crazy way this reminds me of my daughter and it feels like a situation she will face when she is older. My daughter is 6. She has known my fiance, her stepdad, since she was 2. Her dad is not really all that involved. Recently she had a school dance and invited her stepdad to the dance and had a blast. When her dad (who rarely calls) found out he flipped out. Sent me many texts angry about how could I allow her to take him, that I should ask his permission and a lot of very aggressive texts. The next time he saw her, he made her feel so terrible about her inviting her stepdad and made her feel so terrible she was crying when she got home. She was depressed and asked if I was disappointed in her for not asking her dad…she was so upset and guilty. I know this doesnt relate but I think some people let their selfish emotions get in the way and even though they dropped the ball on being a great dad and were not always there, they want the same perks of being the only parent.

My daughter did not want to invite him, she wanted her stepdad to be at the dance. I had asked her if she was sure before she went and she was so sure and was upset I would even ask her to ask her dad. She said if her dad was there he would not let her have fun, and he would not let her do anything and even though he made her feel guilty when you asked her who she would take for the next dance she still says she will take her stepdad. 

Its hard because Im sure you dont want to be a part of the drama. Your biodad was not there for you most of your life, your stepdad was, but your bio dad is not going to see it the same way. He provided half of your chromosomes and feels he deserves the right, regardless if he put the effort to raise or not. I would try to hire someone to not allow him to attend. A restraining order could help if he gets out of hand. I hope, for your wedding, he doesnt try to ruin it. 

Post # 12
2383 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

I assume you won’t be inviting your biodad or his family to the wedding, rightly so. Nonetheless, have bouncers or security there anyway.

Sounds like your biodad has a drinking problem.

The topic ‘HELP STEPFATHER/BIO DAD PROBLEMS’ is closed to new replies.

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