(Closed) Help! Struggling with FIs sister

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 31
594 posts
Busy bee

Steph77:  It’s a bit rude of her to back out at the last minute, yes, but it’s also possible some kind of financial trouble popped up at the last minute, too. (Playing devil’s advocate.)

ClaudiaKishi:  My partner and I have been in that kind of situation plenty of times. For example, my partner’s sister sometimes invites us to dinner at restaurants that we’d rather not go to. She likes to make it a “family” thing, so my partner hates saying no. His sister always splits the bill evenly, even if we ordered something reasonably priced and drank water, while she usually gets the most expensive thing on the menu, plus cocktails. It always leaves us a bit resentful that we have to pay for her overpriced food and drinks, but we always feel pressured into going – she’ll call us cheap (and call me controlling) if we opt out. I’m certainly not saying that this is what’s going on here, but it’s something to consider.

Post # 32
1221 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Steph77:  She’s got every right to find something less expensive that fits what she wants to pay for accommodations. You cannot speak to whether they are short on funds or not and that has no bearing on the situation anyway; they chose another route and that’s ok.

Your posts just rub me the wrong way–it’s ok for you to want to save money by getting them to pitch in for your apartment, but when they book their own place they are being cheap for no reason, because you know their finances in and out and can make that call. Maybe they just don’t want to stay with you guys, that’s their choice. Notice would have been nice but I don’t see why you’re taking this so personally.

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