- 6 months ago
- Wedding: October 2019
This seems like a very helpful community and I am in need of some guidance, specifically regarding the Dress. This is a long one… so buckle up. But I am really hoping that y’all may have some words of wisdom.
Here is the situation:
I am from Austin and all of my family and my best girlfriends including my bridal party live in Texas. I currently live in the middle of no where in New England – think Northern New Hampshire/Vermont – it is about 45 minutes to the closest Bridal Boutique (taste level is suspect) and about 2 hours to the closes David’s Bridal. As far as shopping mates go, my mother passed years ago and I am not very close with and have vastly different taste from my future Mother-In-Law, future stepmother, and Aunts and fashion isn’t exactly my father’s cup of tea. I have a handful of girlfriends here, but they are not as in to clothing and style as I am and have no frame of reference for the “hill country sophistaction” that is my wedding style.
In short: I live in an area with not a lot to chose from and I have no one around here or that could fly in to shop with even if there were a lot of options.
Additionally, I am a plus size but with no boobs to speak of, a long torso, and short legs – so my proportions are all over the map. I am also pretty self concious about my upper arms/bicep area and my back -both because of how I carry the weight and because I have very fair skin with a lot of freckles/spots/biopsy scars. So I see a lot of dresses that I think are absolutely beautiful, but I know would look absolutely awful on me. Now, I am working on the weight. I have lost and kept off 40lbs in the last 4 months, and I think it is a completely feasible goal to lose at least another 40lbs in the roughly 10 months I have before the wedding. But when you lose that much weight – you don’t really know how your body is going to settle.
In short: Larger girl with realistic sense of what is currently flattering or unflattering on me and a large % of what I have seen so far would make me feel very self concious and not pretty – currently losing a good amount of weight.
Finally – I DID make the trek to a David’s Bridal. I took my closest gal pal from up here, and we went just to take a look because I had literally no idea what I wanted. I tried on one that I liked and was flattering. But it kind of just looked like a gown in white and reminded me a little too much of a greek goddess Halloween costume I wore a few years back. And then I tried on one that was very pretty. It had silver beaded detailing, it fit well, it was flattering, in a style that I thought I wanted, and made me feel very bride-y and shiny. It was also on sale for half off, putting it well under my rather modest budget ($750-$1100)- so I bought it. https://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_organza-empire-wedding-dress-with-removable-straps-wg3838
Well… it came in, and I don’t know, it just feels all wrong. And I know some of that should go away with tailoring – right? But other than it being a little big, it’s also just….well, big. I know most of us don’t spend every day in a gown, so the feeling is a bit foreign, but it just feels heavy and cumbersome and really, truly awkward. And I want to dance. It also just doesn’t feel like “me”. I thought the style is what I would want – a bit of drama in an otherwise understated dress – a bit of sparkle, flattering silohoutte. But at the end of the day – I know it was cheap, but somehow it feels even cheaper. And I just can’t pull off the sparkly, lacey bride. I like it – it looks gorgeous on other people – I look and feel fake and awkward.
I THOUGHT that I didn’t really care what I wore because I am marrying my person and I get to see all of my friends. However, the more that I am planning and the event is coming together, the more I realize that I want to feel beautiful on that day. We are keeping these memories and pictures for a lifetime and it is finally starting to sink in that even though it is cliched and cheesy as heck, I do kind of want to be that happy radiant bride – but Me, comfortable and confident in my own skin.
So…….. here are the questions. I have many and no one to ask.
1. I am considering Anomalie. But – it seems to good to be true and many of the threads on here indicate that it is. Has anyone used their service, especially in the last 9 months or so (companies like this tend to need a year or 2 to work out the major kinks)? If so, can you share more about their experience and/or a picture of the dress – good or bad. Some of the reviews I have seen are fairly suspect and have no pictures.
2. Follow up Anomalie question. If you had a bad experience, I am especially interested in the refund process. Is it true that you eventually get 100% of your money back and how long does it take? If you DO get the full refund and can manage without that money for a little bit as long as you get it back – is it worth just getting the process moving while also looking elsewhere? That way if it works out – yay, custom wedding dress just for you, and if it doesn’t, you didn’t really lose much time in the hunt. Thoughts?
3. What to do with the one I have? I am a planner almost bordering on obsessive compulsive and having the dress thing unresolved and not DOING anything is driving me nuts even though it has only been about 2 weeks since I received the dress. But I also know that this is going to be my most difficult issue to resolve. Do I keep it until I have another and then sell it? With the deal I got, I don’t think I am going to have a problem selling it for about what I paid, and it will make some bride very happy.
4. We are moving to Portland, Oregon in May. So in 5 or so months we will be in a city with a lot more options. I am also talking with my bridal party about doing the bachelorette weekend where they come visit my new city. Is it safe to wait until then to find a dress? I feel that it is cutting it too close.
5. Follow-up question. Is there anyone from Portland or even Austin that has recommendations on where to go?
6. What is a safe date to put in my calendar as my drop-dead deadline for taking in the dress to be altered? Wedding date is mid-Oct.
7. Any recommendations for the best online resources for reasonably/moderately priced dresses? Especially ones that offer non-traditional, modern, or second-hand options.
8. What is the best online resources for understanding wedding dress lingo? I like fashion and watch an inordinant amount of Project Runway and things like that – but I don’t know the speak. When do you choose organza or tulle and what the heck is the difference? Obviously, I can google – but I don’t know all the questions that come up when trying to describe bridal.
9. Follow up – what questions SHOULD I be asking?
I apologize for just how long this got. Obviously its a busy and emotional time, but for some reason this dress thing is the only part that has me really nervous.
If anyone has gone through or witnessed any type of similar situation, words of encouragement would also be very helpful.
Thank you all.