(Closed) HELP!! THE WEDDING IS CLOSE, SHOULD WE CALL IT OFF?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
777 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Talk it over with him before you do anything rash! Communication is key in any relationship and it seems like there’s a lack of communication there!

Post # 18
Member
7555 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Ok this is not going to be popular and I am not trying to be mean but if you are baulking at the first sign of things being tough (and yes life is tough thats why traditional vows say something about good times and bad times) then I really think you should at a minimum postpone. Being in a relationship means supporting each other through the tough times whether it be financial, emotional or health.

At a bare minimum you guys need to talk. But not just about what is driving you crazy now but about the future. Set a ten year plan and you both need to compromise. No one person in the relationship should have all the control/make all the decisions because that isn’t a relationship that is domination.

If you guys set a ten/five/whatever year plan maybe compromise on getting out of the city. Something like for tens years you guys will work hard and study and save and then make the decision to move out of the city. I would also maybe talk to your Fiance about what his likes/dislikes career wise are and maybe suggest he speak to a career counsellor if he wants to change professions.

 

Post # 19
Member
1017 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Honestly, my opinion is  to call off the wedding. Going through with it just because the STDs have been sent out and a lot of money as been spent is NOT good enough of a reason to go through with it.

Financial situations can and do change. The facts that you think you and he are very different people and the passion has dissipated are more worrisome.  You love the city and he hates it,  He may be a fantastic guy but what good is it if you are going to be miserable?

Post # 20
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Garden outside our church

I’m going to agree with the “unpopular” opinion. Marriage is tough, and if there’s any doubt when you should be most excited about it, at least postpone. That’ll be hard on your relationship, as well, but if you do eventually get married, it’ll be so much better to be enthusiastic about the beginning of your marriage.
I speak from experience–your OP could easily have been written by the me of 8 years ago. I didn’t call it off, but moved home to prepare for the wedding and our move to Italy (for his schooling), then as soon as I got home, he broke the enagement over e-mail. I was hesitant to break things, even though I was unsure, simply because of the excitement that had built over the wedding itself (not so much the marriage). I so wish I had been the one to call things off, but I’m certainly glad it was the breaking of an engagement rather than a divorce.

Post # 21
Member
1490 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

It is a lot harder to end a marriage than it is to call off a wedding.  Either way, you have to be sure.

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