(Closed) Help! Thinking about re-vamping my bridal party!

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Well, a major question would be, have you already asked them? If you have, you might be losing a couple of friends if you ask them to step down.

In all honesty, maybe just go with the policy of “the more, the merrier.” I mean, at least all these people want to support you on your big day! If it really is a cost thing though, perhaps you could cut back elsewhere?

Post # 4
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Agree with cinemaparadiso.  Did you already ask everyone?  My feelings would be pretty hurt if I was asked to be a bridesmaid then “reassigned” to another role.

What would your cost savings be by eliminating people in the wedding party?  Are you buying their dresses?  Gifts?  Maybe you could cut back in other areas…?

Post # 5
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

4Bridesmaid or Best Man and 4Groomsmen isnt huge.  And like the 2 said above, if you asked them already, you shouldnt really ask them to step dwn or take alternate roles.  12 is a big Bridal Party but only the Bridesmaid or Best Man and Groomsmen stand up there with you.  it wont look out of place.  I had 6 BMs, 6 Groomsmen, 4 flower girls, 2 ring bearers (dogs) and 4 nephews doing various things like lighting the altar candles and ushering.  I had a party of 22, but it didnt look that big because only the 6 and 6 stood with us.

Post # 6
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I also agree that 4 BMs and GMs is not “huge.”  I’m having 8 on each side and a flower girl (so 17 total) and having 150 people at the wedding.

Post # 7
Member
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I third the “don’t unask them” opinion. It would cause some hurt feelings for real! They would be all like “Why does Tiffany get to be in it but I have to leave? Do you LIKE HER MORE?” Oh the drama that could cause.

Post # 8
Member
350 posts
Helper bee

I agree with the others too, you will hurt your friends’ feelings if you “un-ask” them

Post # 9
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

If you’ve already asked them, it’s pretty rough to “unask” them. Just think about how you would feel it you were being reassigned.

Post # 10
Member
2719 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I agree- if you’ve already asked them, don’t “unask” them. That’s a slap in the face. If you haven’t asked them, the could be readers, musicians (if they have the talent), or honorary BMs/JBMs. They can always just help you out with anything thats needed, but then they might be expected to be in the wedding. 4 on each side isn’t a lot. I have 6 on each side + 3 kids. We’ll have 2 readers & 4 musicians.

Post # 11
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My best friend had 8 BMS and 9 GMS …. That was a huge wedding party but they had the venue for it so it worked. I would imagine that half of that would be pretty small. If you already asked them, I wouldn’t ask them to step down.

Post # 12
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

i’m in the same boat my bridal party is huge and the bm are pains and the only person I want standig by me now really is my sister lol.

Post # 13
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I ran into this problem. We’re having about 50 people at our wedding, but originally, it was going to be around 100. Well, I have my Maid/Matron of Honor and 6 bridesmaids (2 are FI’s sisters) and Fiance has only his best man. Talk about an uneven bridal party.

I felt it would look strange to have so many people stand up with us for such a small wedding, so I’m having the six bridesmaids walk down the aisle and then loop around to the second row of seats for the ceremony, instead of standing up front.

This way, I can include all my closest friends in this honor, have them in pictures, and still keep the aesthetic of the small wedding.

Post # 14
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I had this problem. I down sized by telling them that I needed them for more important roles. I am on a budget and needed the extra help else where. THIS WAS AFTER THEY WERE ASKED and they understood. I am sure that it was not right of me but I had to do what I had to do for my financial state.

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