Post # 1
My mom emailed me that she bought this dress to wear to the wedding:
Now, she didn’t want a traditional “Mother of the bride” looking dress, and we are having a somewhat more casual wedding, but even though I know no one will mistake her for the bride, It bugs me a little bit.
Still, this is after she kept asking me what I wanted her to wear and I kept saying to her “I dont care, just pick out whatever you like, youre a grown woman, I shouldnt tell you how to dress” etc.
But I thought she would have the common sense not to buy a white lace dress.
Do I confront her? What do I say?
Post # 3
can she dye it a pale colour? I’d say something. It is a little bizarre.
Post # 4
Do you know for sure that she bought it in the white color?
That’s a little strange. I’d ask her why she chose that dress specifically.
Post # 5
Ask her if comes in other colors – hopefully that will be a subtle way to bring it up!
Post # 6
Personally I would just say NO….no mother should EVER consider wearing white to her daughter’s wedding….
Post # 7
What are you wearing to get married in? If you feel like it looks too bridal I would say something to her about it. It would probably bother me if I were in your situation. I would just ask if she could exchange for another color or different dress.
Post # 8
@lass: it is the only color they make it in
Post # 9
The fact that the wedding is casual, she shouldt even consider this dress. mayb she can wear it in a different colour or wear somthing completely different?
Post # 10
I am sorry. Why do women do that to the BRIDE? I just don’t get it. I would NEVER EVER even think of wearing white, ivory, champagne, or lace to a wedding! ( I am shaking my head in disgust)
Post # 11
Well, with my mom, I’d call her and be like, “You’re joking right?” Then she’d probably laugh, because no way would my mom be that dense.
If she said, “What? You don’t like the dress,” I’d just be really straight with her. “Mom, you can’t wear a white/cream/ivory lace dress to my wedding. Sorry I wasn’t clear on that, but seriously, what’s the return policy? Let’s try to pick something out together.”
Post # 12
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
maybe you could pin the “blame” on society if you think she may just totally not know it’s not ok to wear white/cream/ivory, etc. Just say something like “wow it’s such a pretty dress and I think you’d look great, but the thing is, most people think it’s taboo for anyone but the bride to wear something thats all white/cream/ivory. I wouldn’t want someone to say something to you and upset you, and I also would really love to be the only one wearing all white/cream/ivory.” ???
Post # 13
If it was my mum, I’d say “Muuuum! You know you can’t wear white to a wedding!” in a light-hearted way and just hearing that will be enough for her to rethink it. You can always send her alternative suggestions, or offer to go shopping with her.
Post # 14
If it bothers you it bothers you. I told my mom that if she found something she liked that was ivory or champagne she should get it. I don’t undertand why people get worked up about only the bride wearing white/ivory/champagne. I’ve never been to a wedding where there was any confusion as to who the bride was…???
Also I think the tone on tone look (like when the bridesmaids are wearing ivory or champagne) is pretty. So if you’re not bothered, and you’re wondering whether you *should* be bothered, then I say no. But if you are bothered and it’s not something you can let slide, then go ahead and say something.
Post # 15
*Bangs head against computer screen and SCREAMS*
… apologies for the outburst… but I cannot fathom how grown women the age of your Mother do not know this Etiquette Rule… or CHOOSE to ignore it (NO to White, Ivory, Cream, Champagne or Lace…).
What is it with some people thinking it is ok to look all “Bride-like” at a Wedding… that is WHY it is called “attempting to upstage the Bride”
But your own mother… gosh hon, I’m feelin for ya (( HUGS ))… this is a tough spot to be in… definitely need to call her up and have a chat.
Post # 16
TO – Eglantine: the BIG DEAL is because one’s eye is drawn to white in a photograph… the Bride & Groom should always be the focus of a picture even if there are 100s of people in the pic. If someone else is wearing white, your eye will naturally bounce around distracted by that element.
PS… Tonal Weddings are fine (White, Ivory, Cream, Champagne) … as is wearing Black for the Bridal Party… BUT ONLY if the Bride chooses to go with such a look. Obviously from this post, the Bride has a more traditional stance, and wants her Guests to be colourful (including her mother)