(Closed) Help! this is the dress my mom picked to wear to the wedding. What do I say?

posted 9 years ago in Dress
  • poll: Would you be ok with this as a MOB dress?

    Not appropriate. Say something!

    It's fine, let it go.

  • Post # 3
    511 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    can she dye it a pale colour? I’d say something. It is a little bizarre.

    Post # 4
    124 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Do you know for sure that she bought it in the white color?

    That’s a little strange. I’d ask her why she chose that dress specifically.

    Post # 5
    9168 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Ask her if comes in other colors – hopefully that will be a subtle way to bring it up!

    Post # 6
    649 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Personally I would just say NO….no mother should EVER consider wearing white to her daughter’s wedding….


    Post # 7
    1366 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    What are you wearing to get married in? If you feel like it looks too bridal I would say something to her about it. It would probably bother me if I were in your situation. I would just ask if she could exchange for another color or different dress.

    Post # 9
    4 posts

    The fact that the wedding is casual, she shouldt even consider this dress. mayb she can wear it in a different colour or wear somthing completely different?

    Post # 10
    3389 posts
    Sugar bee

    I am sorry. Why do women do that to the BRIDE? I just don’t get it. I would NEVER EVER even think of wearing white, ivory, champagne, or lace to a wedding! ( I am shaking my head in disgust)

    Post # 11
    1375 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Well, with my mom, I’d call her and be like, “You’re joking right?” Then she’d probably laugh, because no way would my mom be that dense.

    If she said, “What? You don’t like the dress,” I’d just be really straight with her. “Mom, you can’t wear a white/cream/ivory lace dress to my wedding. Sorry I wasn’t clear on that, but seriously, what’s the return policy? Let’s try to pick something out together.”

    Post # 12
    1494 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

    maybe you could pin the “blame” on society if you think she may just totally not know it’s not ok to wear white/cream/ivory, etc. Just say something like “wow it’s such a pretty dress and I think you’d look great, but the thing is, most people think it’s taboo for anyone but the bride to wear something thats all white/cream/ivory. I wouldn’t want someone to say something to you and upset you, and I also would really love to be the only one wearing all white/cream/ivory.” ???

    Post # 13
    205 posts
    Helper bee

    If it was my mum, I’d say “Muuuum! You know you can’t wear white to a wedding!” in a light-hearted way and just hearing that will be enough for her to rethink it. You can always send her alternative suggestions, or offer to go shopping with her.

    Post # 14
    554 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    If it bothers you it bothers you. I told my mom that if she found something she liked that was ivory or champagne she should get it. I don’t undertand why people get worked up about only the bride wearing white/ivory/champagne. I’ve never been to a wedding where there was any confusion as to who the bride was…???

    Also I think the tone on tone look (like when the bridesmaids are wearing ivory or champagne) is pretty. So if you’re not bothered, and you’re wondering whether you *should* be bothered, then I say no. But if you are bothered and it’s not something you can let slide, then go ahead and say something.

    Post # 15
    7439 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    MOB really???

    *Bangs head against computer screen and SCREAMS*

    … apologies for the outburst… but I cannot fathom how grown women the age of your Mother do not know this Etiquette Rule… or CHOOSE to ignore it (NO to White, Ivory, Cream, Champagne or Lace…). 

    What is it with some people thinking it is ok to look all “Bride-like” at a Wedding… that is WHY it is called “attempting to upstage the Bride”

    But your own mother… gosh hon, I’m feelin for ya (( HUGS ))… this is a tough spot to be in… definitely need to call her up and have a chat.


    Post # 16
    7439 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    TO – Eglantine:  the BIG DEAL is because one’s eye is drawn to white in a photograph… the Bride & Groom should always be the focus of a picture even if there are 100s of people in the pic.  If someone else is wearing white, your eye will naturally bounce around distracted by that element.

    PS… Tonal Weddings are fine (White, Ivory, Cream, Champagne) … as is wearing Black for the Bridal Party… BUT ONLY if the Bride chooses to go with such a look.  Obviously from this post, the Bride has a more traditional stance, and wants her Guests to be colourful (including her mother)


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