(Closed) Help: To ask or not to ask?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Are you paying for your lessons? If you are not paying, I might invite her just as a way to say thank-you. If you are paying her, it’s not necessary.

Post # 4
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

I would think this is a typical job for her.  SHe probably does this for hundreds of engaged couples.  I don’t think she’d expect it, unless you have become friends and do things together outside of the class….

Post # 6
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Don’t invite her for the reasons stated above, but I’d bet she’d like to see the video of the actual dance.

Post # 7
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

we hired someone, and didn’t invite him.  Given how many first dances he helps with, I doubt he would want to go to that many weddings!! Unless you feel like she is a good friend beyond this, no need to invite her.

Post # 8
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Well, I would look at it this way…. are you inviting your florist, and your baker?  I’m sure they would like to see how things turn out too… whether people enjoy the cake? How the corsages look on the moms? Or possibly not. 

As the bride (and groom) it’s obviously hugely important to us.  To everybody else, it’s another job.  Our dance instructor has dozens of students every month, and choreographs on average 2 – 3 "first dances" a month.  I’m sure that she likes us, but that doesn’t mean that she wants to give up her saturday afternoon and evening, get dressed up, buy a present, and spend hours with people she doesn’t know just to see us dance.  She asked us afterwards how it went – and was happy to hear that it turned out well. 

Post # 9
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

He is a merchant,  He is not a guest, unless you feel that he is now going to be a friend of yours for life…thank him and send a photo!

Post # 10
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

We had our first dance choreographed too (wedding is tomorrow!) — no we did not invite our dance instructor to the wedding. As stated above, dance instructors are service providers before the wedding. You aren’t inviting the lady who helped you buy your wedding dress, or who does your nails every week, are you?


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