(Closed) Help!? Uncomfortable Wedding Shower Situation.

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’d just suck it up and invite her to the wedding.  If you really can’t swing it, I’d talk to your Maid/Matron of Honor and tell her that you feel really, really uncomfortable and don’t want to have it at her house.

Post # 4
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I would also just suck it up and invite her to the wedding. If she feels close enough to you to help host a shower for you, then she should probably score an invite. Sorry!!

Post # 5
Member
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Did you Maid/Matron of Honor know that this friend wasn’t invited? If she did, why did she agree to it?

I have to agree, though, you need to cut back somewhere else and invite this person (and maybe even a +1, depending on her situation).

Post # 6
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m going to disagree with the other ladies and say you don’t have to invite her. The shower is her choice and you shouldn’t have to feel an obligation to invite people unless you really want them there.

But, that’s just me 🙂

Post # 7
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

sorry for the double

Post # 8
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I agree. If she knows she’s not invited and is still throwing a shower, well, that’s her deal, not yours. People are in charge of themselves. That’s like the #1 rule of being a grown-up. But it would be nice of you to send her a thoughtful thank you gift for her time and trouble. I think that would be appropriate.

Post # 8
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

She knows that shes not invited, so I think you shouldnt feel obligated to change that.  If you do have someone who backs out- shoot her an invite, but dont go over budget because you feel obligated.  If she is someone who you do really want to be there, invite her anyway and figure out how to pay for it.  But it should be your choice and you shouldnt feel guilted into it.  Good Luck!

Post # 11
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I would invite her honestly. It’s the right thing to do, even though you didn’t want her to she is doing so much to help celebrate your big moment and not asking for anything in return. She deserves an invite IMO.

Seriously you will have close friends and family disappoint you in the time leading up to the wedding, the people like this girl who are willing to be so selfless for you should be put on a pedestal. She might decline the invite, but she should be invited.

Post # 12
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

How did your Maid/Matron of Honor decide to ask this particular person?  

Post # 14
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@moderndaisy:I completely agree. Hosting a shower isn’t a small ordeal. It would be nice of you to invite her. Who knows, maybe this will kickstart a great friendship!

Post # 15
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I wouldn’t invite her. She knows the situation.  Send her a thank you card for hosting and maybe a gift card and leave it at that.

The topic ‘Help!? Uncomfortable Wedding Shower Situation.’ is closed to new replies.

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