(Closed) Help us come up with a cute way to announce our legal wedding to our guests :)

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think you should include an insert in the invitation like you mentioned, or re-work the invitation itself to make it clear that it’s a vow renewal/religious ceremony only.  Guests will appreciate you being upfront about the legal ceremony.  Personally I wouldn’t care either way how you did it, but I know some folks get upset if they feel duped in these situations.  Better to be safe than sorry.

 

ETA: I tried to come up with wording for an insert that wasn’t too cutesy, and I think you should think about just re-working the invitation.  It’s going to be confusing if you have an invite asking guests for the pleasure of their company at your marriage, and then an insert saying you’re already married, ya know?

Post # 5
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@claireos:  Sounds like a good plan to me.

Post # 6
Member
13288 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

What about going totally off the books:

Saying “I Do” in front of a judge just wasn’t enough —
Come celebrate as we say it again,
Renewing our vows in front of family and friends!

Post # 8
Member
9548 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@abbie017:  I like that. And I agree to just reqord the invitation instead of an insert.

Post # 9
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Something like that sounds good, I like it.

I’ll also add that I appreciate you being candid with your guests.  I was just invited to a “wedding” for a couple that I know has been married for over a year and already had a 2nd wedding and another reception overseas.  Maybe it’s just my personal connection to the situation, but I found it a little distasteful that they’re playing it off as a wedding, no mention of being married or it being a vow renewal. 

Post # 11
Member
6582 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Call me crazy, but I just don’t see why people get so upset over the whole second wedding issue. I could care less if someone wants to make it legal at the courthouse for whatever reason. I don’t think any less of them for wanting to host a traditional wedding later, and would not feel “slighted” in the least if I didn’t know prior that it wasn’t their “real” wedding.

To the OP, if you feel so inclined to tell everyone I would just word your invitation less traditionally.

Maybe something like:

It is with great joy that John & Sarah announce they were united in marriage on xx/xx/xxxx. 

Please join them as they celebrate our union with a traditional service and reception at ______

Post # 12
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i also like this phrasing:

It is with great joy that John & Sarah announce they were united in marriage on xx/xx/xxxx. 

Please join them as they celebrate our union with a traditional service and reception at ______


That way there’s no confusion.

Post # 13
Member
2715 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

OP, I think what you’re doing is prefectly fine!  I think people (myself included) get upset when a couple tries to keep it a secret or tries to pretend they aren’t married.  I don’t mind you got married beforehand, just don’t lie to me about it.

As far as your question goes, I definitely think you should include something in your invites.  That way there’s no confusion and no one feels duped.  What about writing it out like a story.

On X John and Sara first met  *insert picture of you two where you first met*

On Y John propsed to Sara and she said yes! *insert engagement picture*

On Z John and Sara tied the knot! *insert wedding picture*

Now, on A, John and Sara want to re-affirm their vows and celebrate with their family and friends *insert some random happy picture of you two*

Please join us… *insert rest of invite*

 

Also, if you tell your officient that this is a vow renewal, I imagine that he or she will tailor it accordingly.

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