(Closed) Help Us Settle A Debate: Old Superstitions

posted 10 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
622 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Fiance and I plan on spending the night at separate places. I may be at home at him at a hotel or vice versa. We won’t being see other before the wedding either.

Post # 4
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We spent the night before together in our hotel suite.  The morning of, he went over to his best man’s room to get ready.  My girls and I got ready in the suite.  Then we did first look photos with the wedding party and parents before the ceremony.  As you can tell, we’re not very superstitious, lol! 

Post # 5
8351 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

1) spend the night before the wedding with your groom? No, I will be staying at our venue the night before.

1A) Would you consider the groom spending the night on the couch and you in the bed an acceptable way to get around the “Spend the night before the wedding apart” rule? No.

2) let your groom see you the morning of your wedding or at any time before you walk down the aisle? This is a tough one. I will not let him see me while I am getting ready, prior to the wedding, but we are considering doing a first look, prior to me walking down the aisle.

Post # 6
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

DH and I spent the night before our wedding is separate places.  I stayed at the hotel with Maid/Matron of Honor and he stayed at our apt with some of his groomsmen.  Also we did not see each other before the ceremony.  I guess w’ere pretty traditional.

Post # 7
2280 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We don’t live together, so we won’t be sleeping together the night before. It seems silly to me to make him sleep on the couch. If you already live together, the cat’s out of the bag on that one.

Also, I hope we’ll see each other before the wedding, but not when I’m all dolled up. I’m not into the first look thing and would like to save that moment for the ceremony.

Post # 8
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I just want to mention that the origin of the bride and groom not seeing each other pre-wedding is not superstition but actual precaution. The bride’s family didn’t want her virtue in question, and they didn’t want her seen in case she was ugly/maimed/too young or old. The groom’s family didn’t want him seen for the same reasons as the bride, for fear that the bride would reject him before the ceremony. That’s also where we get the lifting of the veil (veils weren’t transparent back then); the groom lifts it to make sure he’s marrying the girl he was told he was.

I’m not sure when it became “superstition”, but we’re doing a first look regardless of tradition. To answer your questions:

1. We don’t know yet, depends on location of wedding.

2. Nah, I don’t think that quite counts.

3. First look. I want to get the tears over with first, then relax while taking pictures, and I don’t like cocktail hours.

Post # 9
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Definitely will be spending the night before together.  We’ll both sleep better that way.

Not sure if we’ll do the whole “first look” thing or not.  I don’t have a problem seeing each other before the ceremony in general, but dunno if I want him to see me in my dress.

Post # 10
13562 posts
Honey Beekeeper

We do not live together, so the night before isn’t a question.

We will be doing a first look, so he’ll see me on our wedding day before the aisle. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We’re not.  But we don’t live together.  So for us, it’s the last night apart.  But we’re still deciding on the first look.  He’s not into it, but I think it’s a great idea.  

Post # 12
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Not superstitious, but keeping the tradition ๐Ÿ™‚ no sleeping together or seeing each other before I walk down the aisle.

Post # 13
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We’ll be apart ๐Ÿ™ but only because we’re getting married in our hometown, and both sets of parents live there. And they’re in denial that we’re cohabitating already, haha.

But we’ll be hanging out the morning of the wedding (pre-wedding brunch with OOTers) and just before the ceremony (first look + pics THEN the wedding).

Post # 14
6593 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

We are going 100% AGAINST tradition!

We are staying together the night before the wedding in our house and in our bed!

We are obviously seeing each other in the morning and having breakfast together.

And we are also doing a first look and pictures before the ceremony!

Post # 15
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We’re staying in the hotel suite together the night before (in the same bed), waking up, having breakfast, then parting ways by 11am, only to meet up again when I make my way down the aisle! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 16
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

We don’t live together but we will be spending the night before together (who better to fall asleep with but the man you are going to marry).  That morning he will leave and get ready with his groomsmen and I will stay at our cabin and get ready with my brdesmaids. 

We are doing a first look, so we are seeing each other before the ceremony.  I totally understand not wanting to see each other before but for us it just works out better.  Weddings are so chaotic, I want some time alone just him, me, and our wonderful photographers capturing the moment!

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