- 11 years ago
- Wedding: August 2008
I’m in a predicament! My parents divorced when I was 3 and I never lived with my father since I was born. My uncle and granmother helped raise me until I went to college. I left for Chicago at 19 and have never lived at home since. I saw my father once a month and visited him in the summer before going to college. I’m now 29 and have a spotty relationship with him. At first I considered having my uncle walk me down the aisle since he raised me and I have a closer relationship to him. Then I didn’t want to do that for a few reasons, even though I’m not close to my father, I didn’t want to have that be a slap in the face. So for a while, I’ve decided to walk down the aisle by myself – I’m independent, haven’t lived at home in years and don’t like the idea of anyone "giving me away" anyway. So last month, I talked to my step-mother, who acts like a diplomat in these situations. She’s concerned that my father won’t feel included in the wedding (my mom and dad do not talk, my mom’s side of the family probably won’t talk to him at all). I have told my step-mother that I’ll probably walk alone and the whole independence not being given away thing. (I’m also not doing a F/D dance, and my fiancee and Future Mother-In-Law are okay with not doing a M/S dance). However, here’s the catch, my father thinks he’s going to walk me down the aisle and she hasn’t told him otherwise for fear he’ll have "second thoughts" about coming to the wedding! I don’t know what to do – on one level, I know this is my wedding and I need to do what I feel is right. On another level, I don’t want to totally alienate him because that’s just bad Karma, right?
Sorry for the long post, I’m just at a loss and need some help. Thanks.