(Closed) HELP WANTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

The next time he wants to go and have fun I’d say something about a pair of earrings or getitng a ring cleaned at a jewelry store :D… But yeah M bought a 1000 52″ tv last spring. I was like ummm mm-kay… And perhaps he wants to work out etc to be fione when he proposes…

Post # 4
Member
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Maybe just ask him why he feels like he needs to spend so much money on these things that he really doesn’t need! Try to be patient though! ( I know its hard!!!)

Post # 5
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee

i know it’s hard! every time i find a receipt for something expensive (like $1k plus) i have to bite my tongue! i totally understand where you’re coming from!

Post # 6
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

Do y’all share money, accounts? If so, ask why he’s spendings so much money on stuff he doesn’t need, but wants.

I ask if y’all share accounts because I don’t know about him, but I’m REALLY particular about people asking about my money. (Don’t get me started on the time my friend was getting married and wanted us to buy the dress a YEAR in advance and I said I didn’t have the money, then she questioned me about my vacation. Whoooo-lawdy! Let’s just say, she knows not to ask me about how I spend the money I make.)

Post # 7
Member
604 posts
Busy bee

I told my SO that if he ever bought a huge tv, which he has been chomping at the bit for a while now to buy before my ring that I will break up with him. Needless to say, there is no tv, but no ring either ;( lol

Post # 8
Member
2513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I know this might sound funny, but maybe he’s “warming up” for when he drops a wad of cash on something for YOU. Maybe he is planning on doing it soon, but the fact that he’s going to spend a good amount of money on a ring makes him feel like he should buy a couple of things he wants now because you might not “let” him later on LOL.

Guys are weird…

Post # 9
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Next time he makes one of those purchases you could say “oh I was going to buy you that as an engagement present.”  if you’re feeling brave enough, you could make a joke and say “why don’t I just buy you that and you can use the money on an engagement ring”.

On my birthday, between visits to jewelry stores, we went to an electronics place to buy a big TV for his family.  I knew it was something he wanted to do for a long time, and didn’t mind.  But when it came down to adding a few more inches for another hundred dollars and him asking me what I thought, I couldn’t help but feel like “oh 40 inches is fine, save the money for the ring”. 

Even though a treadmill may seem like something a person doesn’t need (cause you can walk outside or just pace around the house), it does have health benefits and will keep him in shape so y’all can have a long and healthy life together.  I know thinking of it that way doesn’t help.  Maybe the TV and treadmill were things he wanted to get together?  Like he wanted a treadmill and felt that he needed a bigger TV to watch while he’s using it? 

 

Post # 10
Member
604 posts
Busy bee

I agree ha. Guys are weird. He probably wanted to treat himself before he starts putting a lot of money away that he knows he can’t touch. However, if he continues to make outrageous purchases maybe you should talk.

Post # 11
Member
1280 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

yeah i’m bout to lay a guilt trip on my boy if goes out and buys a new snowboard! we generally don’t keep a critical eye on each other’s purchases, but i told at our NYE dinner last week that we need to start putting away serious money for our wedding, house buying, etc. and that i’m serious about things happening sooner rather than later…so if one day a new snowboard turns up before my e-ring, rest assured he’ll get a talking to….

but yeah, i think you need to have a frank coversation with your man about major purchases if you are in fact also seriously talking about marriage in the near future. especially if you are operating under the assumption that you will be paying for the wedding yourselves. they are very expensive, sadly, and even if you want something small and budget-conscious, you still should make sure you’re both on the same page about where your financial priorities are before either of you goes off spending lots of money on things you don’t really need. i’m all for health benefits and badass big TVs…but some things are more important….

Post # 12
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I know how you feel.  I am secretly pissed at my SO because I didn’t get a ring on NYE.  Oh well… I know it will happen sometime this year.  I thought it would happen this past NYE.  But, now hoping before NYE 2010.  We have a date, but no ring and I want to start planning.  I want to book our venue.  I want to book our venue.  I WANT TO BOOK OUR VENUE.  Why doesn’t he understand booking a venue for NYE must be done months in advance?  More than a year.  *sigh* 

I completely understand your frustration.  Good think I can vent here and with my Maid/Matron of Honor.  I’d drive him nuts, if I couldn’t.  Well, I need to appreciate the fact I know it’s happening this year sometime.  Shouldn’t I?  What part of “booking the venue as far in advance as possible,” doesn’t he understand? 

Post # 13
Member
604 posts
Busy bee

Guys don’t understand such things they are procrastinators by nature. I was having wedding planning conversation with SO and he was really surprised when I mentioned certain things about the planning process.

Post # 15
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

my fiance bought a new computer for himself and tried to HIDE IT before he asked me to marry him! i had a good laugh about that one. i went into the basement to get christmas stuff and BAM! i found it. he said he was hiding it so that i wouldn’t get mad that he bought himself a new computer before he asked me. the ring i wanted was around the same price as the one you want, so i totally understand how frustrating it is.

have you talked to him about marriage at all (i’m assuming you have)? i never really got a propose by date until the year that he thought he might actually do it, even then he waited until last minute!

Post # 16
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I felt the feeling of “playing house” for awhile!  I would definitely try and talk to him about how you are feeling and hopefully he will explain why he may be putting off the issue.  Good luck!

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