(Closed) HELP! We can’t pay what’s owed on our wedding

posted 9 years ago in Money
Post # 212
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

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@anne B: I believe a couple pages back a poster found the OP’s post about her (what the poster thought was expensive) engagement ring and thought the money would have been better spent on their debt. The OP however, had paid for the ring in cash some time prior to all their issues with moving and such.

Post # 213
Member
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@mhackney21: I am sorry that the thread upset you, I really do not think anyone intended to do that. You are certainly not alone in having debt, most of this country does, but that does not mean its the best situation for you to be in. You and your fiance clearly have good jobs and could pay the debt off, but instead are paying for the wedding. This would not be my personal choice and I would have paid the debt first, then saved for the whole lump sum of the wedding before planning it. But then, I know I am the exception not the norm. This is why I didn’t post earlier in the thread because I really had no advice because the situation is just not one I could understand fully. 

Don’t leave weddingbee, it can get a little tough love sometimes, but I think we all need that from time to time. And really, we all don’t know your personal situation, so you have to take all of this with a grain of salt. 

Post # 214
Member
3521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I don’t think anyone was casting stones at you, to be perfectly honest. A few responses were a bit harsh, yes, but from your first post it seemed like you really needed a reality check.

I do have some debt, but I don’t think taking out loans to pay for an education is the same as going into debt for a wedding, sorry.

In any case, I’m glad things worked out for you.

Post # 215
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I was the poster who first mentioned the ring, but I never said that you shouldn’t have bought it. Instead, I suggested that if you were desperate for money to pay for the wedding, you could sell it (I also suggested selling old clothes, furniture, and movies, as well as cutting out unnecessary expenses; the ring was a last resort).  I’m sorry if you thought that I was being judgmental; I thought I was giving extremely practical advice about how to fund the rest of your wedding.  

Post # 216
Member
3460 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

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@mhackney21:  Only one person replied that they have no debt out of almost 200.  Most felt it neccessary to cast the first stone like they are debt free with tons of money in savings, no credit cards or student loans and own a home free and clear.

I didn’t post my debt status because I thought that would be more upsetting.  Because you ask and it seems to matter to you, I will tell you that yes, FI’s apt (in Boston, not a cheap place!) where we live, was bought with cash.  He has no debt – cars, student loans, or credit cards, and has substantial savings.  My debt is solely student loans, largely from law school.  I could pay off 70% of that today (100% if I count retirement money), but choose not to in order to have a 2+ year emergency fund.  If I didn’t have these savings, I would have been in a world of trouble when I lost my job a year and a half ago.  I wish I had saved even more…  But we are ahead of the curve compared to most of America.  I posted before because I don’t want to see you get in over your head, and I thought tough love was called for in order to get you to think about things.  I’m sorry that made you feel like leaving the bee, that was not my, or anyone else’s intent.

Post # 217
Member
4885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m glad things are working out.   

Are you really going to use the honeyfund to pay off previous debt? 

And yes, there’s plenty of us out here who don’t have any debt, so it’s not exactly unheard of.

Post # 219
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Glad it all came together for you, hope you have an amazing wedding!

Post # 220
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

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@mhackney21: I am glad things worked out for you. What a stressful time anyways and then to add the money worries on top.

Post # 221
Member
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Lol, i didn’t read everyones responses, but just a suggestion. What if you have a stock the bar shower (hopefully you can have someone close to you, like your mom or Maid/Matron of Honor help you and “throw it for you”) and have people bring the alcohol for the wedding. Which is the gift they would bring to the party. Also, the ladies up there are right, talk to vendors. We had an issue around the time to pay a payment for the photographer and it was no problem. Another idea, talk to the caterer. I’m not sure what you have planned, but if you talk to them normally they have GREAT ideas to make your dollar stretch further and you have plenty of time b4 the wedding to change it up.

 

Post # 222
Member
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I just saw that the prob was solved…my fault girl!! lol, that was a lot of posts to read b4 posting myself…got ahead of myself!!  don’t worry your day if going to be wonderful!!!  So happy for you guys!!!

Post # 223
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I also have no debt, nor does Fiance.

Maybe you can still provide your own alcohol and put that toward your other debt.  Wouldn’t it be great to get everything paid off and not have to give up much?

Also, make sure you know what gratuities and tax the vendors will charge so there aren’t any further surprises.

 

Post # 224
Member
4334 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think people are sick of reading this thread, which is why most won’t respond to whether they have any debt…but, yeah, Fiance and I don’t have any debt. (other than part of his house mortgage.)

And even if (for example,) every single person on here DOES have credit card debt? so what? (do you jump off a bridge cuz everyone else does?) Credit card debt is basically a tax on people who can’t do math. (meaning– either people have it because they are incapable of saying “no” when they want something, or else they have it because they have it to buy a NECESSITY — which would include food and possibly gasoline needed to get to your job. NOT new clothes, phone bills, cable, going to restaurants, buying alcohol, etc.) So, anyhow, it really doesn’t matter if the whole USA (or anyone on this thread) has credit card debt… It’s a HORRIBLE problem!

Post # 225
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

we don’t have debt. We have savings of 6 months salary, IRA and 401K as well as stocks and bonds. So, I was addressing your problem from the “I am uber financially responsible so this is how I would handle it.”

I just had to write a check for $8K for a new air conditioner and while it sucked writing it, the money was there to pay it. Our event is being paid for with cash and I have a strict budget that I am WAY under right now because I won’t dip into savings, or pull out a credit card to pay for it. If I had to do that I would scale waaaay back. Which was my suggestion to you.

Post # 226
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

By The Way, I *AM* glad you found a solution. It’s not one *I* would use, but at least that stress is off of you.

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