Post # 92
@Jeannine @ Small Chic: absolutely. I was going to suggest Dave Ramsey already!
It sounds like if you’re up to <here> in financial issues already, then it appears that this was a major problem before you even started wedding planning.
Plan the wedding, eliminate everything possible like PP”s have said (like the band, alcohol, and food!) and then get financial help! seriously! (I mean, not actual money. like, help in how to manage your finances!)
Post # 93
@Mollytov: In a later post, I mentioned that I listed the “big” items. The misc charges AND the big items on my list that we have paid already add up to $14,700. My Fiance called about 10 min ago to inform me that he went through our checking acct and added it up.
Post # 94
Elope and be done with it. Then, get some financial counseling so this never happens again. Going into a marriage with that much debt will be crippling, so which is more important–the marriage or the wedding?
Post # 95
@Mrs Grape: I am SERIOUSLY considering cancelling the whole thing and eloping.
Post # 96
we are planning, paying and putting together this wedding ourselves so to help with costs my future hubby and i are gonna have a small wedding and have our “wedding celebration” & honeymoon on our one year anniversary. we are having family and friends help with pictures, drinks, food, cake and whatever else we can utilize skills and talents of family and friends :-} if we can turn to our loved ones at a time like then then i’d like to know when is a good time.
Post # 97
@mhackney21: I hate this recommendation, but I did it, so whatever. Do either of you have any life insurance policies that you can either cash out or borrow against?
From reading this sweetie, I think you need to postpone. It will make things so much better and you will not have compromise on your big day. Please, Please consider this option!
Post # 98
Let me state this – it’s not that we are irresponsible people when it comes to finances. We are both 30 and we have careers. Fiance took a promotion and we moved to California. We had to foot the bill for that expense ourselves. We paid for what we could, and had to finance the rest. We did NOT have debt before this move. Fiance has been doing great at work for the last 9 months, so we have chipped away at our moving dept and paid off 2/3 of our wedding in cash. I don’t feel that we are a case for needing tons of financial counseling. We have done the best that we can. It’s not like we frivolously put ourselves into debt.
He had a bad month last month commission wise. And because of that, we won’t have enough money to pay off the last 1/3 that we owe our wedding before Sept 24. That’s why I posted on this board. I was really upset and crying earlier and I needed some advice.
Post # 99
Cancel, postpone or elope.
You’d be absolutely bonkers to take on more debt when you’re already swimming in it.
A wedding is nice, but it won’t put a roof over your head, pay hospital bills or keep the lights on.
Post # 100
I totally understand why reading this thread would upset you BUT i also think people have provided advice …real advice.
You should walk away from your computer now. Go make yourself a cup of tea. Calm down.
Post # 101
Sorry you’re so stressed out about this! It sounds like your Fiance had an opportunity that you guys jumped for and the pay off just isn’t coming as fast as you’d hoped. Fingers crossed that things turn up and your leap of faith is proved worth it!
As for the wedding/budget: You said that your friends would flip over a dry recpetion; could you confide in some of those close friends and ask them if they’d provide the booze as a gift? I agree with the other Bees that $1000 for alcohol is an expense that needs to be on the chopping block, but if you had a bunch of people chipping in, it’d be doable for a group of, say, HS buddies to cover it as a gift. I agree with everyone saying that the shoes should probably be returned/sold and you should wear something cheaper that you already own, and that if your Fiance already owns a suit, it would make sense to wear that instead. I also think you should call the caterer and see if they can set up a payment plan for you. Even if they end up charging you a little more for doing it that way, it can’t be worse than taking out a payday loan (and food’s your biggest expense/what you’d be taking the loan for, it sounds like).
If you haven’t bought your tickets yet (I’m not clear about that) – try Priceline/Expedia/Kayak and consider all the airports you could possibly fly through to find the cheapest combination. Do you know anyone who works for an airline or might have frequent flier miles they could use to book tickets for you? Maybe even ask for them as a present from someone you feel close enough to confide in? I know other Bees have suggested driving, but that’s a really long drive and with your situation what it is (maxed out cards, etc) I’d fear that if something happened en route – the car broke down, overheated, got in an accident, whatever – you could end up in worse financial shape than the prospective savings are worth (and given gas prices, a motel room unless you drove 20-some hours straight, etc, I’m not convinced you’d actually save anything).
Post # 102
@mhackney21: credit cards being maxed out and three pay day loans is not ideal not matter how you slice it, Im sorry. If you used this route to pay for the wedding till now, it’s still not that financially responsible. I know it sounds harsh, but I NEVER EVER want this to happen to ANYONE. A wedding is frivolous at the end of the day you can’t plan it out of uncertainty. I really am sorry for you. I would be devastated if I couldn’t have mine. It’s hurtful.
Post # 103
@mhackney21: You’re saying you maxed out credit cards and took out pay day loans on a move that happened 9 months ago? I was under the impression that pay day loans were short term loans for people who can’t get loans otherwise.
It might help to make a spreadsheet. You’ve paid out $14,000, but how much debt to you have? Does it makes sense to pour more money into the wedding when you have debt? Wouldn’t it feel better to chip away at the debt?
I moved a great distance 6 years ago. The expense was paying the movers (okay, and packing materials). How did your move put you in such a hole?
Post # 104
@mhackney21: Age has nothing to do with whether or not you are responsible or good with money.
As of right now, you have absolutely no savings, lots of high interest debt and are living well beyond your limited means.
None of this means you are a bad person, but it does suggest that you and your Fiance need some assistance regarding long term financial planning.
ETA: I realize I sound harsh, and I want to be clear that I’m not judging you at all. But I’ve seen the chaos and heartache that comes from enormous debt first-hand, and it’s awful. My ILs are basically underwater, but they refuse to change their spending habits and make the sacrifices or learn the lessons reuired to get themselves out of the hole. I shudder to think what would happen if one or other of them should fall ill or be unable to work because putting food on the table would be a major problem.
Post # 105
I think lots of people have given you some great advice…but I don’t see where you are taking any of it?
I had a backyard wedding, for a lot less people, but we bought nice throw away plates (got them at bed bath and beyond on clearance) – why don’t you buy throw away plates (like clear plastic at party city). That will save you a ton on renting linens and plates. We bought clear plastic silverware and rolled them up into napkins and I thought they looked nice.
We also didn’t do a caterer. We got some meat, cheese and veggie trays and did a make your own sandwich bar with gourmet breads. I don’t know how that would work with a lot of people, but maybe do snacks and appetizers? Costco has mini quiches, spanakopita, cream puffs, etc. Get some chips and dip? People LOVE crackers, cheese, and fruit. I went to a dessert only reception a few weeks ago and that was fine – it’s whatever you can afford!
Post # 106
@miss.qwerty: The cheapest tickets we found from LAX to DFW arr $249/per person. We DID drive from Dallas to California when we moved out here and with the gas and hotel expenses (it’s a 2 day trip w/ 12 hours of driving each day) it cost us almost $400. So it’s not really worth it.
I’m just upset b/c I tried to make everyone happy, i.e. our friends that miss us, our families that miss us, everyone that wants to be a part of our wedding. And at the time we planned it/reserved everything/paid deposits/paid part of it off, we were 100% sure at this time come today, that we would have enough to pay the rest off.
So I ended up with a beautiful wedding planned that I can’t pay for, my FI’s job that isn’t coming along fast enough, my career I had to transfer and am not making as good of money at, etc etc.
But I SERIOUSLY want to thank those that have given advice. I feel a little better with at the very least, some ideas of how/what to do with this mess.
I feel like I’m the only bride to be out there in a situation like this….