Post # 1
My fiance is a brilliant art student. I am fully supportive of his work. However, he frequently draws nude models, and for some reason it really bothers me. I try to remember that it’s strictly professional and there’s nothing sexual about it. But sometimes it drives me crazy to think he’s sitting in the studio staring at a naked woman all afternoon. When I bring it up to him, he brushes it off or makes a joke about it. I know he’s trying to make me feel like it’s not a big deal (which it shouldn’t be!) but sometimes it makes me feel worse. I wonder if he’s comparing my body to the women that he’s drawing. This is so unlike me and I can’t stand feeling this way. Is it crazy for me to be uncomfortable with this? How can I deal with it? Help me out, ladies!
Post # 3
As someone who does life drawing, yes, you’re being ridiculous.
If you’re bothered then you should go too. You can go with your Fiance to a drop-in class. Doing it will teach you the mind set.
It’s not the main issue here, but the models are not all women and they’re certainly not all even remotely attractive. Your Fiance could, or should, be able to know exactly what someone looks like naked without seeing them without any clothes on btw (: and it’s not sexual whatsoever.
Post # 4
I’m not sure how to help, but I can tell you that half the nude models I worked with in art school were male, and of the females, a large number of them were either over the age of 70. I don’t know your fiance, but I’ll bet that with most of his models, the only comparison he’s making is “Thank God Emma.J.22 doesn’t look like that!”
Post # 5
SO takes photographs of nudes (think boudior), so I understand exactly where you’re coming from.
He no longer does lone nudes (as in, it’s never just him and the model in the room) so that’s a comfort.
The thing I take solice in is that very early on in our relationship he said that he’d never been able to photograph women he dated in the nude. When he’s doing his photography its creative, yes, but mostly he’s thinking about other things: composition, light, and so forth. He looks at their bodies in a totally different way to mine.
I don’t know if that helps at all, just sharing. It’s not always easy.
Know he loves you, and doesn’t look at these models like that. They’re as static as a bowl of fruit to him as an artist.
Post # 6
((HUGS)) . . . No, you’re not crazy at all for feeling this way, it’s normal. It’s nothing to be ashamed of – how you feel is how you feel. But really, it is just ART and nothing sexual. He is a student of art, and the nude human body is a beautiful work of art, so try to see it from his eyes and his perspective. Gently ask him to try to see your point of view, and to have a little compassion for your feelings until you can get used to the idea. I can see how it would be difficult and it would take me some time getting used to it, as well.
ETA: In a way it’s along the lines of if he were a doctor or a gynecologist, same kind of thing.
Post # 7
I can understand why it would bother you on some level, but do your best to put it out of your mind. Like you said, it is strictly professional. It’s a little beside the point, but I’ve seen some of my dad’s sketches from when he was in art school. If they still do it the same way, they pick people (men and women) of ALL different ages and body types, and there is nothing sexual about it, just a way to practice different forms and shapes.
I agree with PP, see if you can drop in on a class at some point. I’m not sure if it’s allowed or not, but if you can, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised with the level of professionalism displayed. It’s all just part of being an art student 🙂
Post # 8
I’m sorry, but as an artist who draws nudes, you are out of line.
He may be drawing some naked women, but he’s not looking at them. He’s looking at shapes and shadows and highlights and lines. Trust me, there is nothing sexual about it at all. Most of the people that volunteer to pose are not even remotely attractive. When you’re looking at a person’s every wrinkle and skin fold, the last thing you want to do is sleep with them.
And I’m not just saying this to make you feel better.
Post # 9
@rosyQ87: The drop-in class comment… uh, how do I say this. They would not allow someone to drop in and look. They normally put a screen in front of the door when it is open, and close it during classes. No gawkers allowed, for the model’s sake. There are classes you can pay to go to for one session. I was suggesting to OP that she get some conté and newsprint and draw. Then she’ll understand.. even if her drawings are not on the same level as the others in the room.
Post # 10
@GreenDream: I figured that was the case, but I have had no first-hand experience with live models or drawing class. Anyway, I think a one-time class is great idea. I apoligze for misreading your comment earlier.
Post # 11
@rosyQ87: No worries at all! I just don’t want to be responsible for suggesting something which would be a fairly awkward situation! Haha.