Post # 1
I am getting married myself in June, but one of my bridesmaids got engaged in Dec. and now is getting married in October. I am supposed to be in her wedding as well.
Well, she asks me if I am growing my hair out for my wedding and how I plan on everyone fixing their hair. Well, I give her the details and then tell her that I am cutting my hair after the wedding.
She then informs me that the hair style she like for the bridesmaids is a low, messy bun that she said long hair would be better for. Then she asks me to wait until after her wedding to cut my hair.
Well, I have been looking forward to getting my haircut and even have the cut picked out. My hair is extremly think and stays in a ponytail most of the time. Also, I go to the lake and pool very often in the summer and the longer my hair is the more it tangles, etc.
She did tell me that if I really wanted to get it cut that I could get extensions. Well, I can’t afford that! And I honestly fell that she is getting into my personal rights by pretty much telling me I can’t cut my hair before her wedding which is almost a year away.
Am I over reacting, what should I do?
Post # 3
Uggh, what a pain! Seriously, just do what you want. Even if your hair is still short by the time of her wedding, I am sure you can pin back the sides and at least get the look of the low bun. Maybe she is just really excited about her wedding because she just got engaged and she’ll lighten up over time. Dictating hairstyles nine monthes in advance (or at all, IMO) is a little much! Do all the other bridesmaids have long hair? Do they know about the ‘no hair cuts’ mandate? 😉
Post # 4
Yes, you should cut your hair if that’s what you really want. It is your hair, and I would hope that your friend would understand that. I don’t think it should matter so much that all of her bridesmaids have the same hairstyle (and agree with previous comment that dictating them nine months ahead is a bit much).
Post # 5
Delicate issue. Every bride has a vision of what their wedding day would be like and it seems like both you and your bridesmaid have specific ideas for your wedding day. I understand where you’re coming from re: damage to your hair from the days at the lake and the thickness and its tendency to be unmanageable but at the same time, your Bridesmaid or Best Man, I think, is within the parameters of being right to ask that you leave your hair long for the style she has in mind. That said, I don’t know about the extensions – did she suggest them because you’re wanting to really cut your hair so short to the point that you need extensions? With your thicker hair, perhaps the stylist wouldn’t need as much hair for the style. Perhaps a hair trial would be helpful. How about a bit of a trim to tidy up your hair after your wedding (you should consider deep oil treatments the months/weeks leading up to your own wedding if you haven’t already) and then a full on cut after your BM’s wedding? Give some take some. There are two weddings here and two brides that deserve all the support that they need. Good luck.
Post # 6
If possible, maybe you can make sure your hair is still a length that will work for her hairstyle. Your hair doesn’t need to be too long for a lowish bun. Plus, if you cut your hair and June and leave it until her wedding, it should be fine.
Post # 7
I agree, that dictating 9 months in advance is a bit much. While it’s her wedding, I think that she is overstepping here. Besides, I don’t think your hair needs to be super long for a lowish bun. Or at least the look from the front wouldn’t be too difficult with some bobby pins.
Post # 8
I’ll play two sides here.
1. I agree, she is being a little demanding in that she is planning hair 9 months away. Also, agree with SoonetoBe that maybe she’ll lighten up. As the wedding draws near and she becomes a little more stressed with details, she might find this is not as big of a deal. (Especially if you lend a special helping hand and experience from your own day. )
2. However, she knows you with long hair, and drew up a plan around that. I can’t blame her for wanting a uniform hair style. It would be a little different if you already had short hair. But since it’s long now, she’s probably not thinking it’s that big of a deal for you to keep it long for just a bit longer. If having short hair is that OK, why aren’t you cutting it before your wedding?
I think there were some good suggetions for compromise. Cut your hair but let it grow in for her wedding, or have it just long enough to put in the bun. Also, what about those hair pieces that clip on to your head? I’ve seen them look terrific. And if it’s just in a bun, even better. (Although I don’t know how much those cost.)
Post # 9
Wow, I think she is being very demanding. But I agree with the people who said that if you cut your hair in June it should be long enough to put in a bun by october (assuming you aren’t shaving your head.. haha). Explain to her that you want your hair short for the summer but that you expect it to grow back out by her wedding.
Post # 10
Definitely cut your hair! Sorry to sound judgmental, but it’s insane for a bride to demand you transform her body for her wedding. Anyway, if she gets upset you might jokingly remind her that no one will be paying attention to the BM’s anyway.
Post # 11
Thanks for all of your suggestions! My hair really is not extremly long right now, it is a little past my shoulders. I was planning on getting it cut a little above them. The reason I am not cutting it before is because I am doing an up-do where the back will be criscrossed. (sp) So if I cut it now the bottom would not be long enough to do that.
About having enough body for a bun, I should have no problem with that, like I said I have REALLY thick hair.
I have also thought about a hair piece. I think you can buy it at like Sallie’s. If anyone knows anything about them let me know!
Post # 12
You can generally buy hair pieces at the mall. Lots of malls have one of those little kiosks, how well the hairpiece workd really depends on your haircolor/highlights. Also I feel like a low bun can easily be pulled off with the hair cut you’re planning on. Good luck.