Help!! What to wear to this wedding as a guest?!?!

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
2629 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

appleblossom217 :  My Mum always told me you can’t overdress, so I would wear what you’d usually consider appropriate for a Wedding 🙂


Post # 3
668 posts
Busy bee

What time of day is the wedding at and what day of the week? I usually use those, as well as the season and venue, to guide me on attire 🙂

Post # 4
6738 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

appleblossom217 :  Are you close with the bride or groom? I also have a barn wedding coming up in 2 weeks (crazy coincidence!) and I was confused as well as to what to wear. I know it’s in a barn…but barns can be elegant. But the bride is a very good friend of mine so I just texted her yesterday to ask how fancy the wedding was. She told me the guys were wearing cowboy boots and that it was more laid back, my husband doesn’t even need to wear a jacket. So I’m going for more of a backyard bbq vibe than a regular cocktail dress. 

Post # 6
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

My two girlfriends and I have been to 5 barn weddings in the last 2 years. From asking each other so many times “What the hell do I wear to a barn wedding?” we developed a strategy: if you can, look at photos of the floor. Is it dusty or covered in straw? Go casual. Is it nice wood that’s been refurbished to host? Go formal. While chairs tables and lighting can change easily, floor can’t be changed. Let that be your guide.  

Almost always, we reached consensus on what she should wear. There was one time that we couldn’t find pictures, so instead, she asked the bride what type of animals were there and how far she’d need walk. Upon hearing it was a working farm with about 1000 pigs, and that they had a cart, but she expected only the elderly guests would use it, my friend opted for a casual sundress with flats.

Post # 8
1551 posts
Bumble bee

abwcmo :  I was thinking the same thing about checking the floor. Whether or not you can wear heels is a good indicator of how fancy to dress.

Straw on the floor = semi casual. flats and casual dress like backyard BBQ.

Hard clean floor = formal. heels and nice dress like a historic house wedding.

Post # 9
7862 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I would just wear normal wedding clothes – a nice dress for you and a coat & tie for your SO. Can’t go wrong!

Post # 10
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I think a long maxi dress with heels and jewelry would be fine. The fact they haven’t listed a dress code makes it seem to me as if they aren’t considering this formal. Usually those that want a certain look make sure to specify it on the invite and wedding website. Do you have pictures of the dress you purchased?

Post # 11
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Vineyard on Long Island

since the whole “rustic elegance” theme has been super in for a while, I just assume that the couple wanted the rustic feel, but still a formal wedding, especially on a Saturday night.  I’d wear my normal cocktail dress with maybe flats or wedges to be ready for walking on grass or uneven wood.

Post # 12
668 posts
Busy bee

Based on the time and day, I vote for a maxi dress with heels.

Post # 13
2042 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Where do you live? I am in Calgary and it’s common to have barn weddings here. Everyone owns boots and hats, so for those weddings I wear a pair of my nicer boots with a cute dress. This is what we wore to a wedding last summer:

I would think the maxi dress and wedges are fine! But I would ask the couple what to wear if I was unsure. 

Post # 14
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

You literally can’t go wrong with an LBD (little black dress) black is always formal, but can pass for semi-casual as well, and combining it with some silvery flats or something is a no-fail solution for shoes (unless you’re a boots person, in which case would also be totally acceptable seeing as how it’s in a barn!) 

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