Post # 1
After hearing from my mom that none of my relatives would travel to my wedding (I understand, it would be far for them and none of them are in a great financial situation, but I am still sad), we have started to revamp our plans.
Originally we planned to invite about 100 people and booked a room with a max capacity of 80. We felt safe in this decision because quite a few of the invitees would definitely not make it (ie. my FI’s gramma who is in a nursing home 5 hours away).
Now, we’ve decided to have a smaller wedding, and cut a bunch of people from the list (like my dad’s friends, and our coworkers). With the list of people we want to be there we have 40 people. This does not include the relatives who’ve told my mom they’re absolutely not coming.
Our venue will let us switch our reservation to a room with a max capacity of 45, which is a savings of about $1500.
The issue I’m having is, I still have to invite these relatives who aren’t coming, out of respect, etc. I am concerned with WHAT IF all of the sudden people change their minds and we have a room that isn’t big enough to accomodate everyone?
I really don’t know what to do.
Post # 3
That’s hard, because you’re still far enough out that it’s really difficult to know where people will be financially in six months!
I’d probably go with the smaller room and trim the guest list a little.
Post # 4
@ddw: That’s what I’m thinking, it’s just tricky!!
Post # 5
I would probably book the smaller room and then just not invite them so you avoid the risk. Normally I believe you should still send an invite to people who say they can’t come.. but in this case… I think you are OK to just go ahead and leave them off the list as long as your mom is OK with that option.
Post # 6
I misvoted… I meant to vote for go with the smaller room! however I accidentally voted for the larger room. Good luck! I think the smaller room will be perfect
Post # 7
My mom told me that my relatives would not be coming, but I sent them an invite anyway. They all definitely did NOT come. I would book the smaller room, trim the guest list like you did, and don’t bother to send an invite to your relatives. If your mom already asked them if they would come and they said no, that’s an RSVP in my opinion. Why waste the paper/postage?
Post # 8
I agree with MightySapphire. Book the smaller room, and don’t send them an invite. Send them an announcement after the fact, and maybe jot a little note about how you missed them but understood why they couldn’t make it.
Post # 9
Thanks everyone for your feedback!!
I agree that telling someone you’re not coming is an RSVP, but my dad’s sisters are really petty, and my mom thinks I should send the invite anyways, but I could still talk her out of that 🙂
Does it make a difference that I’ve sent Save-The-Date Cards and that’s why people said they weren’t coming? In this situation, having sent the STD, am I required to send an invitation?
Post # 10
I’m all about cutting costs, so I would go for the smaller room. And even if out of the blue a few of them show you would still have some wiggle room to squeeze them into your venue.