(Closed) help with a moh

posted 12 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
6 posts
  • Wedding: May 2009

hi there. my BFF and also Matron of Honor found out she was prenant right after my engagement. We discussed showing up for each other in the midst of such big life changing events. we had a very healthy conversation and discussed when she would feel comfortable getting her dress, I planned and coordinated her baby shower and things have gone very smoothly. There is mutual excitement. Relationships are give and take. I suggest sitting down with your friend, have some coffee and ask how you can support her in her pregnancy. Ask about her baby shower and what you can do to show up for her. In my expirience when I make myself available for my friends, they will do the same for me. dont hold it in. communication is key.

Post # 4
2640 posts
Sugar bee

Is she normally a center of attention kind of person?  If so, it was probably uncomfortable for her to take a back seat to you as you plan your wedding.  (Not that that’s right.)  Then when she found out she was pregnant she really jumped on the "It’s about me again" train.

Was wedding planning getting too much for her?  Were you talking wedding all day every day?  Was getting pregnant difficult for her?  Is it her first pregnancy?  If she isn’t normally an attention hog, I’m just trying to think about why she would seem this demanding and insensitive to you.

I know you must be worried about dong anything drastic, as it could effect your friendship.  Maybe you can take a breather then talk to her.  See how she feels about the wedding at this point. 

Also, there might be pregnancy issues by 8 months.  Tons of people are on bed rest or deliver early, or feel too swollen by that point.  You get so big so fast at that point, I don’t if she’ll be able to successfully fit into her dress.  Do you have a plan if she has to bails close to the wedding?

Post # 5
36 posts

In short, yes, it is wrong.  I bet one of your Bridesmaid or Best Man would love to step up and take a more active role in helping you.  Unless you wish to destroy your friendship with your Maid/Matron of Honor, you cannot demote her.  If she was a good enough friend to ask to be your Maid/Matron of Honor she will likely do what she can to step up, but you also have to realize that she has a lot going on in her life and may not be able to meet all of your needs; pregnant or not that may be the case with any Maid/Matron of Honor or Bridesmaid or Best Man.

Post # 7
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oh wow, I guess I got to this post too late.  I’m really glad you were able to talk to your friend and it seems like things were left with you being happy about her still being your Maid/Matron of Honor.

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