- 8 months ago
- Wedding: May 2013
Basically, I have been having problems with my in-laws for a really long time.
I have absolutely no connection to them, no relationship with them, they have never made an effort to get to know me and they live 10 mins away and they don’t even make effort to spend time with my daughter who is 4. It’s gotten to the point where she doesn’t even know who some of them are anymore because she hasn’t seen them in MONTHS.
I resent the fact that I paid to visit them (this was a long time ago we were living across the country) and after I paid over $2000 for the visit they did not keep in touch with me for 1.5 years. Nothing. Not one email, message or anything.
I’ve had a couple of nasty arguments with them in the past and both sides hurled daggers but I just can’t seem to get past it. Whenever I think of them all that comes to mind is these conflicts and insults they hurled at me even though it was a really long time ago. There are also personality conflicts. I am not happy to be married into this family.
I’ve also had issues with my husband at the same time. I feel that he doesn’t usually care about my point of view or feelings. He says that he does but it doesn’t mean that I’m right etc. he’s always inserting his opinion into situations that I find hurtful.
Recently, there was a death in his family. I haven’t seen them at all since Christmas. The person who died I only met a handful of times and wasn’t close to him. I do not like his mother at all.
My husband was obviously upset by the death in the family and made me attend the funeral. I could not help it, on the day of the funeral I just thought of my SIL and I welled up with negativity about how I feel about the conflicts from the past etc. I could not help it, the day of the funeral I tried to talk to my husband about how the insults made me feel and he went nuts.
He said how can I insult them when their son died? Well… I did not insult them I just have such a negative feeling I cannot shake. My husband said he does not want to be married to me anymore because of this funeral incident. He said we are done. I was really threatened by this so I took our marriage certificate and mine and my daughter’s birth certificates and hid them so he could not damage them. In the past, he threatened to cut them up during an argument. He also threatened to sue for child custody and take the child off me so I can only have supervised visits with her even though I have done nothing wrong.
I do not feel sorry I brought up the incidents on the day of the funeral. I just don’t feel close to his family at all. He thinks I’m heartless. I tried to apologize but because I was angry when I said he did not accept it. I’m not really sorry though.
He started to talk to me again on the weekend and was friendly on Sunday he even gave me a hug but he said it meant nothing just being friendly.
Yesterday, he noticed that the marriage certificate was missing and we got into a massive argument. He said he thought there was hope but now there is none. He said he would have cut them up a long time ago if he wanted to.
On top of this, I am 20 weeks pregnant. I do not want him to attend the ultrasound on Friday but he insists.
If we are not together anymore I do not want to pay his way etc. He is a stay home dad.
He did contact a marriage counsellor but I am not sure it’s worth it since I’m going to have to pay for it. I do not know if this is worth trying to save but when I think about certain things… like we were putting money to finally get our wedding rings after 4 years I just want to cry and feel sad. I feel so depressed when I think of that.