(Closed) Help with addressing envelopes for couples that are not married

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I wrote the person who was closest to me first and if they are married or in a serious relationship then I put the second name,  if they are not in a serious relationship I addressed it as   Miss ___ & Guest

I think Guest sounds better then Plus 1 so I would put it as guest on the RSVP site as well

Post # 4
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I totally agree with Future Mrs K. That’s exactly what I’d do

Post # 5
4136 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I think this is how “etiquette” goes…

For unmarried couples, the envelope should look as below, ladies first, separate lines (and implies marriage so leave it off):
Miss Jane Smith
Mr Tom Harris

Don’t know the proper etiquette but I’d say: if you know the name of the plus one I would include it on the envelope.  If not just write inside.  I agree with PP about using “& Guest” instead of “Plus One”

Post # 6
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I did this…


Mr. John Smith & Guest


I thought it looked kinda weird on the outside envelope, but since we didn’t have inner envelopes, I just did it that way.

Post # 7
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

For unmarried couples where I know both of them I put both of their names on the envelopes. I either put the name of the person I am closest to first or used the ladies first rule if I’m equally close to both.

For unmarried couples where I only know one of them I put the name of the person I know on the envelope and then either both names on the invitation (or + partner).

Post # 8
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I just had this exact conversation with my Maid/Matron of Honor and her boyfriend this weekend!  I was told that because they dont live together, I’m expected to send separate invitations to them since I would like them both to be there.

If only I could just invite my Maid/Matron of Honor and have her leave the Boyfriend or Best Friend at home….

Post # 9
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If the couple is living at the same address then you send one invitation addressed to both people.  It is traditional to put the man’s name first, followed by the lady’s name.

Mr. John Doe & Ms. Jane Smith

If the couple does not live together, NVACat is correct, you are expected to send an invitation to each guest’s home.  The only exception is when you do not know the significant other (your good friend’s “and Guest”).  Etiquette still says that you should address the invitation for the the guest by name, however you may rely on your friend/relative to deliver the invitation – that way the person you don’t know won’t get the invitation and think “who is this for!??!”  – your friend can say “my dear friend is getting married, would you care to be my date for the evening?”

The upside to naming your guests’ “Plus Ones” is that you will be able to prevent a cousin from bringing a fling of the week, or anybody else that you really just don’t want at your wedding.

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