(Closed) Help with addressing!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I will answer but not because I know, this is just what I’d do for a  save the date! I would list everyone so there’d be no future misunderstandings with who is coming and not, and I think just list everyone (even put in “Mr and Mrs and family” where appropriate) and maybe for the ones that share an address you could break it up for the sisters if they get to have a plus one and send them their own. And you could maybe just send it to them if they get a plus one and leave the plus one’s name out of it because they’d know for sure during the wedding invitations. . .. . that sounds confusing. I’m sorry 🙁 I hope maybe you get what I’m saying! 🙂 It sounds right in my head lol

Post # 5
3267 posts
Sugar bee

Mr. and Mrs. Timothy Wedding

John and Jane (in order of age)

123 Main Street

City, State




Post # 7
1696 posts
Bumble bee

Do not put the names of children on the outside of outer envelopes. This is a child-safety issue as well as an etiquette issue. Do not put the names of non-resident guests (that is, of people’s non-live-in boyfriends or girlfriends) on the outer envelope either.

When you get around to designing your invitations, either use an inside envelope for this information, or have your invitation printed with a write-in line on the invitation itself, so that you can be clear about who is invited and who is (by their absence) not invited. On the outside envelope, put just the name of the lady of the house (except in the United States where you put the name of both the lady and the gentleman, or — obviously — in the case of a bachelor where you use just his name.)

Since you are opting for a formal event (that is, an event to which evening dress is appropriate), you need to follow formal protocol in general. That would mean undertaking to use titles properly on the invitations; and for multiple households living under the same roof, to send separate invitations to each household. For consistency, you should also aim for restrained elegance rather than distinctive memorable flamboyance in the design and wording of your invitations.

“Save the date” cards are a practice borrowed from the convention industry, not from formal etiquette. (Actually it amazes me how many modern wedding practices are adaptations of commercial event advertising.) The most delicate way to handle asking people to “save the date” is to send a personal note to each person whose presence is specially important to you, giving them advance information about your plans. Then you can also tactfully explain who will be invited, as part of the natural language in your note. The best way to adapt this traditional practice to the modern “save the date” trend, is to design your save-the-date card with room on it somewhere for a brief personal note, or at least a space to list the people being invited.

Post # 8
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’m not sure about the specific addressing (names, order etc.) but I know that each couple should have their own invite, their minor children included. Adult children living in the household also get their own invite. So, if there are two couples living in a home, and one of the couples has an adult child over 18, that would be 3 invites. Thanks for posting this– I”m learning a lot, too!

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