Post # 1
I chose this dress for my bridesmaids. They are all very different shapes and sizes: a 4’10 apple, a 5’5 stick-thin ruler, a 5’10 curvy hourglass with like DD+ bra size, and a 5’11 thin pear. They all agreed this dress would be flattering because of the support, straps, and the placement of the waist sash. The dress would be in plum of course.
Well, I just found out the 4’10 apple will be either 9+ months pregnant at the wedding, or will have literally just given birth. Her due date is a week before the wedding
I contacted the shop owner who said these dresses can be made as an empire waist. Essentially, the top of the waist-sash thing will hit in the same place, but it will be significantly smaller to accommodate my pregnant bridesmaid’s belly.
Now, as I see it, I have the following options:
A) Pregnant bridesmaid is the only one with the empire waist. My concern here is that if she has the baby, no one will know why her dress is different than the rest.
B) All bridesmaids have the empire waist. My concern here is, well, that it will make my not-stick-thin bridesmaids look like they are maybe wearing maternity dresses.
C) Pregnant bridesmaid has a different dress entirely – as the Maid/Matron of Honor, wouldn’t be that unusual. My concern here is I just don’t like the look of mismatched dresses. I wouldn’t mind the Maid/Matron of Honor to be wearing an accent color, so long as it were the same style of dress. But I have to give somewhere, and I’m not sure where is the best place for that …
Other ideas for options are welcome!
Post # 3
Well, the first thing that comes to mind is really wondering whether it might be best for you, or her, or both of you if she steps down as Maid/Matron of Honor and attends as a guest if she’s up for it.
With her due date things could be really unpredictable– what if she gave birth the day before your wedding? AT your wedding? Two weeks AFTER your wedding and was really uncomfortable? It seems like a 50/50 chance that she will be able to attend your wedding and the stress of pregnancy and a new baby for her, and the unpredictableness for you, might mean that you’re both better off skipping the “what if” and letting her just attend as a guest.
I’m sure that you’ve already thought of that and maybe you have already discussed it and are sure she still wants to be Maid/Matron of Honor but just putting it out there!
Re: the dress, if you’re going to have a 9-month pregnant woman or brand new mother in that dress there are a couple fit factors to consider:
-Will she potentially need to wear a nursing bra beneath it?
-If it’s being made empire, which is a good idea, make sure that there is extra fabric in the skirt section so that it can flow out around her belly without being too tight, and it might need to even be a little longer in the front so that the hemline is even when it’s pushed way out by a belly
-Can it be altered right before she needs to wear it?
I think having only the Maid/Matron of Honor in empire is fine, especially since your other girls like it the way it is! Maybe skip the waist-girdle part entirely or make it very narrow and give her her own special sash to wear so that it can be adjusted as-needed for the correct placement and snugness day-of.
Post # 4
“All bridesmaids have the empire waist. My concern here is, well, that it will make my not-stick-thin bridesmaids look like they are maybe wearing maternity dresses.”
I’m an hourglass shape, and this dress with an empire waist would indeed make me look pregnant (or at least like I’m trying to hide that I’m pregnant). I voted for “pregnant bridesmaid has an empire waist, and the rest don’t” – if she’s had the baby by the time of your wedding then as a guest I may notice that her dress is slightly different, but I wouldn’t dwell on it.
Post # 5
My understanding is that it takes time for the stomach to go down after delivery so I think she should have the empire waist dress.
Post # 6
@PromiseRooster: Trust me, I’ve had this debate internally and on here as well. If I’m being honest, I want to avoid the stress of the whole situation. We have no idea when she’ll give birth or if she’ll even be there. In fact, as I see it, if she’s even able to attend, there are two options: have a 9+ months pregnant bridesmaid who is miserable and exhausted, or have a bridesmaid who literally just gave birth and is miserable and exhausted! I think it’s a no-win, and I want her to step down. But I’m concerned I can’t ask her to without ruining our friendship, and she seemed pretty adamant that she’d be there no matter what. I don’t want to put either of us through that stress, but I’m afraid of losing her friendship. If you have any advice I’d love to hear it. I feel like I’ve turned this over a million times in my head and nothing has been resolved, and I’m so antsy about it …. I’m hoping I get calmer with time.
I don’t know about the nursing bra thing. I don’t know anything about babies or pregnancy …. I know she didn’t breastfeed her first baby, though she tried for the first three days or so. If you don’t breastfeed do you need a nursing bra? Also she is very petite in the chest, so can she just wear a larger regular bra? I don’t know anything. I’m a fool.
Yes, the dress can be made with lots of room for the belly, and yes it can be taken in last-minute (grandmother is a seamstress).
Post # 7
I would say give just her the empire waist. I’m sure everyone will know that she A) is VERY pregnant or B) just had the baby. Empire waists will indeed make you look pregnant if you are not. They are very unflattering on many body types. If you are nervous to mess up the friendship then forget about the dresses looking different because trust me nobody will care enough or question the different gown styles. However another option to consider is having each girls dress a different style but same color (strapless, one shoulder, different waist, etc…), just a thought.
Post # 8
another thing to consider is that her boobs will probably be a lot bigger than they are now so make sure you factor that in before ordering her dress.
Post # 9
Yep, she gets the empire waist (don’t put anyone else through that). even if she already has given birth before the wedding, she will still most likely want the empire shape.
Post # 10
I agree with most of the previous posters – give the pregnant Bridesmaid or Best Man the empire waist. I don’t think it’ll look too glaringly different.
Post # 11
If she just gave birth, she’ll still have a belly so I’d give her the empire, but leave the more flattering, wider waistband for the others. Ppl in our society don’t like to talk abt post-baby belly (remember the hubbub abt Kate Middleton still having some belly when she left the hospital? It was insane!)
It sounds like she will probably need to drop out or bail & is just in denial now. So just prepare yourself for that now so that there isn’t stress either way.