Post # 1
I am having some difficulty picking my bridal party. Fiance has a lot of friends and agreed to only a party of 4… then we decided to add my brother to his party (who he is not close with) for a total of 5 attendents each. I have asked so far one friend and a roommate from my college years ( both I felt comfortable enough asking, but not super close with them). I also plan on asking one of my female cousins. Which brings me to 3 total attendants. I do not have anyone that I feel close enough with to ask to be my Maid/Matron of Honor and I still would need another Bridesmaid or Best Man to equal my fiance’s 5. My parents have suggested I ask my one aunt (who is in her 40’s) to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. I feel close enough to ask her, but wish I had a best friend or someone to ask instead. I also dont have many other options for an additional bridesmaid. I have seen posts on here about having uneven parties but I feel that it would like weird and people would notice I dont have a lot of close friends. Neither of us have sisters to ask. I have drifted apart from most of my firends from HS/college and spend most of my time either with family, working (about 50 hours a week) and with my fiance and working on our house. Because of the sensitive nature of the work I do it is not really an option to ask anybody from work ot be in the wedding.
Post # 3
Uneven parties can look more normal than you think especially now a days when brides have male attendants and grooms have female attendants. No one will know who’s who’s friend. I don’t recommend asking people you’re not comfortable with because honestly a wedding is a big commitment and a big expense. So asking someone that you’re not really close to to shell over about $200 puts both of you in an uncomfortable position. It’s best to be yourself when it comes to your wedding. You have a successful career, a great family life, a home, and you’re getting married. So what if you’re not a social butterfly?
Post # 4
Whatever you decide, don’t pick someone just for the sake of having even sides. If you have someone close enough to you that you want included in your day, then ask them, otherwise, don’t ask anyone else.
Have you already asked your brother to stand up with your FI? If not, just don’t include him in the wedding party and you’d have even sides.
Post # 5
I was in your shoes when I first got engaged too. At first I was so worried about us having an equal number of attendants so the pictures would look symmetrical, but after a little while I didn’t care. I realized that I only wanted the people that I truly love on my side with me. So my fiance has 6 groomsmen and I have only 5 bridesmaids. It won’t matter! Only ask people that you truly love so that way no one feels awkward. Your day will be beautiful even if the wedding party number is uneven!!!
Post # 6
We werent going to ask my brother to be in wedding party.. but when my mom found out we werent going to ask him she got really upset (and wouldn’t accept the idea of him being an usher) so i suggested that I would make him my honor attendent (because I dont have a Maid/Matron of Honor right now and she thought that idea was crazy).. so to keep the peace with everyone we decided to ask him to be in the wedding party. Which will be nice for pictures etc..
Post # 7
First of all, uneven parties are not a big deal at all. I had 4 and my husband had 5…didn’t look weird and I don’t think people even noticed. I could have had more but I really only wanted the people closest to me. I think you should reconsider having your brother on your side. I don’t see a problem with having a guy stand up for you and I think it would be a very sweet gesture.
Post # 8
Good news today bees! After probably seeing how frustrated I was with this subject fiance offered to only have 3 attendants each… I told him that we could have 4.. if we included my brother. I am going with my 3 original bridesmaids and probably going to ask my aunt to be the Maid/Matron of Honor since I dont have many other options. Only other option would be a coworker who I am close with, but probably not close enough to be my Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 9
I think it’s great you came to a solution, but since you seem to really want even sides, I second MsMArzipan’s suggestion to have your brother on your side as a bridesman. That way you could each have 4 attendants.
My Darling Husband had a groomswoman, and given that I didn’t feel right choosing amongst my best friends (neither DH or I has a sister) I didn’t have a Maid/Matron of Honor, so don’t feel you HAVE to ask someone! No one thought it was strange, no one questioned it, and when it came to toasts, each of my girls briefly said something, but I would have been fine if only one or none of them had spoken.
There are always options, don’t get so stuck in what you think other people will think! Do what you want!
Post # 10
@Christie: I totally agree with you!
Your Fiance could have his four, you could have your three, and then your brother could be you man of honor. You’d have even sides, and since you already said your bro isn’t close to your Fiance and you don’t have someone to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, it sounds perfect. Just look at Mrs. Barrettes with her man of honor!
Post # 11
I would be fine with having my brother on my side.. but my mom is totally against it.. Not that, that should matter but its easier to plan the wedding with her when she is not totally pissed off! I am a traditionalist so hopefully this will work out best for everyone!