Help with champagne at Chinese wedding banquet

posted 5 days ago in Food
Post # 17
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee

The Bevmo website has a “drink calculator.” You can put in what you’re serving, the number of guests and the percentage of drinkers you have to calculate how much to buy. And, yes, every Chinese wedding I’ve ever gone to had giant bottles of Coke and 7up on each table. I grew up in a home with a “no containers on the dinner table” policy so I don’t find the soda bottles on the dining table at an otherwise formal event to be the most aesthetically pleasing option.

Post # 18
Member
721 posts
Busy bee

I’ll also suggest, if YOU don’t want to be worrying about the liquor excess, is there someone else that could help with that? Like your mom or aunt or something, who would take home the excess so you dont need to worry about it after the banquet.

Post # 19
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee

 

Unless you have a large proportion of heavy drinkers or a large proportion of non drinkers, the average recommended amount is likely to work out ok.  Most weddings I’ve been to, there are some tables that barely touch their supply of wine and others that finish it, but it works out in the end because the non drinkers are happy to let someone else have their wine.

I would order from somewhere that allows you to return unopened bottles and make someone else responsible for returning them, so you don’t have to worry about it.

Post # 20
Member
1628 posts
Bumble bee

I would over-order from someone that has a good returns policy 

Post # 21
Member
5094 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
@ARL120711:  Honestly whenever I host, I always worry about running out. I’d prefer to have leftovers for years than not have enough. Your Mother-In-Law likely hasn’t hosted an event like this so she’s assuming that her people don’t drink much but it’s likely a lot of people do drink more than she thinks but because they aren’t rip roaring drunk and don’t make a scene like she thinks people who drink do, she is therefore underestimating how much people actually do drink especially at an event with lots of food like a wedding.  Im not a drinker at all, as in I barely drink any other time but I will likely have more than two standard drinks at a wedding and so does the majority of people at any table I’ve ever sat at a wedding. I’m of Italian descent and probably a lot like chinese culture its considered gauche to get plastered drunk anywhere so people will drink but will be buzzy but likely not outwardly portray that they are indeed buzzy which is probably where the disconnect is happening with your Mother-In-Law and her belief that her side don’t drink. They drink but not to the point of messiness that she associates with drinking. I really reccomend having some wine,  beer, champagne and Hennessy as options along with some soda/pop. I also reccomend having way more than what uou think you need. You can always go the costco route and return the unopened boxes of whatever you don’t use.

Post # 22
Member
4689 posts
Honey bee

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@ARL120711:  if you don’t have a bar, how are you keeping all this champagne chilled? If you go with Hennessey, how does his side typically drink it? If anyway but up, you need to think this through as well.

Post # 23
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee

 What does your fiance think about it?

Post # 26
Member
5094 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
@ARL120711:  I’d get your fiance to broach having more alcohol with his mum. My guess is that if he uses the words ‘we don’t  want to run out of drinks because it looks like we are being cheap’ she might just change her mind and be more accepting of your idea of having more alcohol available as a just incase. My Mother-In-Law isn’t chinese but is from another asian culture and being seen to be ‘cheap’ is considered like the worst of the worst sin you could  ever commit in front of others! I think that’s a pretty common theme with most cultures…even mine as someone who is of European decent. My guess talking about how akward it would be if you run out of booze and how cheap that will look, will definitely get your Mother-In-Law on board but please only get your fiance to have that conversation with his mum. You can’t be anywhere near it!

Post # 27
Member
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2022

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@cmsgirl:  I agree with this idea & think it’s rude of his mom to try to micromanage grown adult people drinking. Unlikely just cuz something is on a table ppl will drink way more than they would otherwise & get inappropriately drunk? It does make you look cheap if you run out of alcohol. Is this your wedding or your mother in laws? I understand being culturally sensitive but it’s ur wedding. I am a white bride marrying a black man from the south who’s fam is very Christian and doesn’t drink at all. I will be having an open bar at my wedding because I like to drink and so does my fam. I don’t really care if someone gets drunk as long as they don’t ruin my day by aggressiveness or something which isn’t a problem with my friends and fam. I don’t really care what his mom wants in terms of alcohol as she’s not paying for my wedding. If ur mother in law is paying of course she gets more of a say but still I would push the cheap angle (have fiancé do it as pp mentioned). Regardless alcohol at wedding is not a huge deal and I get not wanting to create drama over it. Whatever you decide will be great 😃

Post # 28
Member
15514 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@ARL120711:  it’s not her job to police if people get drunk.   Having enough alcohol does not mean people are going to get drunk.   They could, but that always depends on the crowd.  Either way, it’s more proper imo to have enough alcohol and risk a few drunk people, than to run out.   And yes, as cmsgirl says, you don’t want to run out and appear cheap.  Chinese people can be judgy AF.

Post # 30
Member
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2022

View original reply
@ARL120711:  with that in mind i totally think you should value her opinion and can see why you adopted such a deferential approach and think that makes sense (also didnt realize almost everyone would be from his side) and seems like you guys have found a compromise now that you’ve had more direct conversations about it and theres the return option. 🙂 love that your man respects his mom but still has has own mind and sounds like he will be a great lifelong partner! have a lovely wedding and beautiful marriage! 

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