- 8 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
I just wanted to see if anyone had any help/advice/suggestions for coping with a loss? TTC after a loss? Anything, really:) This was my first pregnancy/first loss, and I am simply blown away by how hard it has been on me. Do you know of any books? Or blogs? Or anything at all that helped you?
I am seeing a counselor now once a week. I’ve only been once, so we’ll see if it helps?
I have bad dreams. The worst one was of DH and I having a tiny TINY baby, like the size of a finger…And we kept forgetting where we put it bc it was so small. At one point I found it, and picked it up, and was freaking out if it was okay because we had forgotten it again, and blood started pouring out of it everywhere. I cannot shake that one.
The only thing I’ve found to help:
Being really open about everything I’m feeling with DH and vice versa – literally every day….We talk about it several times a day. It’s become part of “us.”
This one is dumb, but it works a little bit for me….When running one day, the Alicia Keys song “Sleeping With A Broken Heart” came on….I cried my face off. At first I didn’t think that was good, but now I listen to it 2 or 3 times when I’m running and I get a good cry in. I take that time for me. It’s funny when you’re hurting, you can turn any song into something that relates to your situation….She is talking about an ex-lover….But there are parts that I relate to my lost pregnancy/baby and they make me sob everytime I hear it:
Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart? Well, you could try sleeping in my bed
You wore the crown You made my body feel heaven bound Why don’t you hold me Need me, I thought you told me You’d never leave me
Take me, make me, you know that I’ll always be in love With you Right til the end
So tonight, I’m gonna find a way to make it without you Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you I’m gonna hold on to the times that we had tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
So that’s all I’ve got. I’m kind of a mess and not one to be giving advice right now, but I’d love to hear anything that you all can offer if you’ve suffered through this miserable pain before….And I’m very sorry for your loss if you did:(