Post # 1
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
I’m just looking for suggestions. How do I even approach this??
FH and I have a long time before our wedding. When one of his nephews got engaged a few months back and decided to marry this summer, we were excited.
I’ve offered to help with a shower and am just sitting here at a loss. I really feel bad for this girl. She called for my address so she could print the invites to the shower – I told her that all she needed to do was show up, she didn’t have to do the work…
When I realized she didn’t have a registry, I suggested that she do that. Today I saw the registry.
O. M. G.
There are panties and "breast enhancers" and pasties! She’s clueless and I’m REALLY trying to be nice… It’s tough though – I can’t stop laughing. Miss Manners would have a field day with this…
Post # 3
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
Oh dear. Hopefully reminding her about who will see this registry might change her mind. Maybe she’s thinking of the lingerie showers that are so common. I wouldn’t want anyone to be buying me breast enhancers though.
Post # 4
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
Awwww, the poor thing, I feel bad for her 
Post # 5
Member
2029 posts
Buzzing bee
My only guess is that she is mixing up a lingerie shower or bachelorette party with her bridal registry, but wow! Is it too late for you to plan a themed shower? That way you could pick a traditional theme like an around the clock shower and then tell her "I didn’t want to ruin the surprise, but your shower has an around-the-clock theme. I noticed you haven’t registered for anything that will work for the daytime hours, so you might want to register for more things like kitchen or house stuff." That way she doesn’t have to remove the "evening" items if she doesn’t want to and it might spare her the embarrassment.
Post # 6
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
Poor girl… Maybe you should have everyone bring gift cards or do a themed shower…Then while she is in town take her to the store and help her rigister for her wedding. Jest be like "Hey I need to look at some stuff for our registry, would you like to come with me and fill up yours too?" Then direct her as you go….
Post # 7
Member
695 posts
Busy bee
Hm, maybe just ask her what kind of shower she would like. Then, when she says a "regular one", since she is (bless her heart) clueless, just say ok, then that calls for this type of registry, ie one at Bed Bath and Beyond.
If she does say she is excited for a lingerie shower, maybe gently bring up the fact that those don’t have a registry and if her grandma does an online search for a wedding gift that she will find her lingerie wishlist, does she realize that? 🙂
So basically tell her it is your job to let the guests know what size she is and what she wants if it is a lingerie shower and her job to make a BBB registry for her shower and wedding if otherwise.
Hope that helps and wasn’t confusing! Good luck! I have a feeling you’re going to have to remind her to send thank you notes too!
Post # 8
Member
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
My standard answer for this one is invite her out for coffee and talk the wierd sitch out. Maybe bring a printout of your registry or a friends?
Poor girl. I am glad she’s got you in her corner!!! Could you imagine if her granny came to the shower and she got that???
Even bachelorette parties don’t gift some of that stuff!
Post # 9
Member
1032 posts
Bumble bee
Just tell her that you looked at the registery and saw what she had on there. Don’t act like she picked "odd things"…..just ask her like you are just "double checking to make sure…" 🙂
Tell her that you looked and saw what she had. Tell her that you wanted to make sure you were throwing her the kinda shower she wants. Ask her is she wanted to have a lingeree shower. If she says yes…than just let it be. But you could use that conversaton as a way of letting her know that she could register for more things if she didn’t wanna just have a lingeree shower. And tell her that grandma will see this registery 🙂
Or maybe remind her that she doesn’t have to be shy about asking for too much and that she really CAN pick all types of differnt things….like cookware! haha
Post # 10
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
Oh my goodness this is hilarious. Please let us know what happens when you talk with her!
Post # 11
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
Thanks ladies – you’ve got great ideas 
I failed to mention earlier that she already knows that this is her FI’s family shower. So the confusion is there, but that’s not why. The registry has normal stuff: pots, pans, silverware, PANTIES, towels, PASTIES, a bbq grill, BREAST ENHANCERS… LOL
I’m going to do my best to "help" her, but she’s a bit demanding ("I’m going to need to to get right on that and get it done" was something she said to me).
As of right now, I’m kind of stepping back from the shower. There are way too many cooks in the kitchen and I’m just not up for all that. Yes, it’s at my house, and yes I’ll make subtle and kind suggestions, but that’s pretty much all the time and effort I’ll willing to put forth right now.
On the bright side, FH and I (and the hive) are getting great entertainment value out of all this and I can vent the frustrating parts here to better deal with "Clueless"
I’ll keep you posted…
Post # 12
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
Just to keep you guys in the loop…
She took the pasties and panties off of the registry. I’ll let ya know how the shower turns out.
Post # 13
Member
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
hahaha. I can’t wait. It sounds so entertaining. I bet her bachelorette party will be one crazy day!
Post # 14
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
Just wanted to let you guys in on the latest… The shower for this girl went off without a hitch. She was kind and appreciative and NO ONE bought the pasties…LOL
The wedding is the 8th of August and I got the invitation in the mail yesterday. It was pretty… errr… if you like that sort of thing. Ok – I know that all of us have attempted a DIY in the past – wedding or not – and FAILED. Yeah, it was close. Anyway, there is no RSVP card, which I understand for a small wedding, but there was an extra card for the reception (which is being held in the same place as the wedding). The only thing that really bugs me is that their registry was on the invitation. It’ll be interesting…
🙂