- 8 years ago
- Wedding: January 2011
I’m a regular poster but I’ve put pics of my dress up, and I don’t want to cause any more problems with my cousin than she’s already experiencing. This will be long, but I’ll try to keep it as short as possible.
Today my mom called me at work and asked me if my cousin had said anything about her husband hitting her. She hasn’t, but I have gotten a sense that things aren’t quite right around her household.
She just got married less than a year ago, and before that, her husband had been living with my aunt’s family because his own parents had kicked him out (they have deep issues revolving around abuse, it wasn’t because of anything wrong that he did). He lived with them from when she was 16 to when she was 20.
Now that they’ve been married, she isn’t allowed to talk to her parents on the phone without him being on another line, listening. She can’t sit with them at church, and she’s not allowed to see them without him being present. Before that ‘rule’ was put into place she told her mom she was unhappy with him, and he made her call and say that she was just kidding and that she was very happy. Since then, the phone rule has been in place.
I came over to her house one day, and I’ve been ‘allowed’ to hang out with her, but she doesn’t answer the phone when my mom calls, and they were always very close before the marriage. I’ve never seen any bruises on her or anything, but at this point, I don’t think there would even need to be physical abuse…
My mom wants me to talk to her and find out what’s happening, but I don’t know what or how to say it. We were very close growing up, and she’s still one of my best friends, but we haven’t been quite as tight as in the past. I’m not sure how to approach this one. I know there’s not going to be one right way, but I would really appreciate some advice.