Post # 16
You shouldn’t ever be telling your in-laws anything. That’s your fiances job as it’s his family. You two make a decision or need to remind them of a boundary they have crossed, your fiancé does it and tells them. His family is clearly vocal about their feelings, they aren’t people who will give you the benefit of the doubt. Because of that your fiancé is the one who deals with them. Anytime you try to do it instead of him that will give them another reason to dislike you and attack you. Don’t give them any ammunition.
Post # 17
yes, I do think it is worth it. This is suppose to be your happy day, you can not recreate it so why even consider someone that is going to give you anxiety? As another poster said I would only invite Future Sister-In-Law with no guest included (unless she has a boyfriend, then specifically list his name as guest). You will be sending out the invites and you have the final say over wanting a guest or not, regardless of the input of others. If any unwanted guest show up then have the wedding planner/member of your family/bridesmaid run interference and politely advise guest they were not invited and seating can not be arranged. Period.