(Closed) Help with food – Vegans, vegetarians and fussy eaters!

posted 8 years ago in Food
Post # 3
6375 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I would just serve vegan and get the vegetarians to suck it up, sorry. It’s one thing to cater for people’s ethical and religious beliefs, and I’m all in favour of that, but why should you feel the need to enable fussy eaters? Don’t tear yourself up over it… you’ll never please everyone. I would just offer a meat/fish option, and a vegan option, and be done with it.

Post # 4
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m a vegan and as I’m given enough food to feel full, I’m happy. I would never expect deserts, appetizers, etc. we are used to not having as many options at events, please don’t worry!

Post # 5
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m a vegetarian, and I say your vegetarian guests can suck it up and eat the vegan meal. I don’t even understand why they’re giving you a hard time about it. That’s super obnoxious. And vegan meals definitely do not need to be complicated, I’m actually annoyed for you that they’re whining about not getting dairy. Seriously, they can deal. 

As for the caterer, I don’t know why you’re having a hard time. Vegan meals really aren’t complicated. I’d say google around for some recipes and give them to the caterer for ideas. I know there have been threads here asking what people’s favorite vegetarian/vegan meals were at a wedding. Maybe you can help inspire your caterer that way. 

Post # 6
2189 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Hmmm…this is a tricky situation and I am honestly not sure what I would do apart from talk to your vegan and vegetarian guests and explain how tricky it is to find meals suitable for them. The vegans should hopefully understand as I imagine it cannot be easy for them to eat out and about. 

Here is a dish that I personally like and Im not vegetarian or vegan but I think it will cover both. 

Courgette and broccoli tagine with cous cous. 


broccoli, courgette, tinned tomatoes/passata, lemon juice and cous cous. I don’t think any of those products are derived from animals!


as for the dessert, I don’t think you should compromise on having cake (the vegans don’t have to eat it) but maybe offer an alternative. Ask them for suggestions and then ask your caterer which one they can do. 


Post # 7
2604 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’m pescetarian (I eat fish/seafood), and I’d be perfectly fine with eating a vegan meal. Your vegetarian guests are being dramatic. They can survive without dairy for ONE night, my goodness.

I agree with PP above about keeping cake and providing an alternative dairy-free dessert if possible. Even if it’s just fruit or something, I’d hope they would appreciate the effort.

Post # 10
7935 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Shell222:  i’m not sure why you are discussing your menu so intently with your guests.  yes, i understand you want them to be happy.  but you are hosting the party.  i don’t tell people what to serve when i am a guest.

for my wedding, we are giving people 3 options (filet mignon, crabcake, and vegetarian).  Fiance and I picked this menu because we liked it and if the guests don’t, well they will have to eat more dessert if they are still hungry after the cocktail hour.

if you only want to do 1 meal for vegan/vegetarian, then you have to do a vegan meal. 

if you RSVP ask if they have any dietary restrictions, accommodate those but don’t make each person a separate meal.


Post # 11
1099 posts
Bumble bee

+1 to pretty much everything above. 

I’m vegan, and I certainly would never expect to eat dessert at a non-veg wedding. Although it’s nice when there’s some fruit available to make it less awkward when everyone’s eating cake, it’s not necessary. I would expect a decently filling meal, though (as in, not just a couple lettuce leaves), but I’m not picky and I’ve been happy to eat bread with olive oil and vinegar at big events.

Nor would I care about the favours. I’d be happy giving them to someone else.

As for your vegetarians, that is very rude! They can go for a meal without dairy, and should not decline to do so if it makes it easier on you. I wouldn’t decline a vegan meal that was, say, gluten-free, even though I love foods with gluten.


Post # 13
1099 posts
Bumble bee

@Shell222:  Just read your update, you’re going beyond what most vegans expect, and that is so nice! The meal sounds great.

Post # 14
5521 posts
Bee Keeper

@Shell222:  My opinion will likely be unpopular, but I think you need to cater for both vegetarians and vegans.


I thought we had a couple of vegans coming to ours (turns out they’re actually pescatarian, so thank you Future Mother-In-Law for worrying me unnecessarily!) and I did have a moment of panic. However, I started researching vegan options and would have ensured they were properly catered for throughout the day, from the canapes to the wedding breakfast to the evening buffet. I would then still have provided vegetarian and pescatarian options for the one pescatarian who was coming. We also have a coeliac coming, and again, he will be properly catered for.


Personally, I would not serve the vegetarians vegan food, though I would give them the option of choosing the vegan option so they have an extra option. But I don’t think it’s fair to make them have the vegan option if they aren’t vegan, as they are completely different. I’ve recently gone pescatarian and have realised vegan food is MUCH more restrictive than vegetarian; there are WAY more things you can eat as a vegetarian than as a vegan.


The only thing I woulnd’t necessarily cater for would be the cake; though you could maybe do vegan cup-cakes as an option so they aren’t left out.

ETA: just seen your update; that sounds perfect 🙂

Post # 15
2191 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m a pescetarian as well and I would be fine with a vegan meal. As long as I can get something non-meat, I’m happy.

Post # 16
6593 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Shell222:  Serve vegan and have a cheesy/dairy based sauce on the side for the vegetarians to add to the dish.

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