(Closed) Help with Gifts for Out of State wedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Basically, you don’t have a registry.  And you instruct your immediate family members to tell anyone who asks that because of the transportation issues, people either need to give money or to have items sent to your home.

Post # 4
Member
5390 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

We are trying to figure out the same thing. Some guests have told me that they are going to get us gift cards. Hopefully they will have all the gifts that they purchase shipped directly to our home, but we are preparing to rent a SUV to drive home.

Post # 5
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I disagree with 2ndbride.  I think you SHOULD have a registry (if there are things you actually need/want). Hope that most people know that they should NOT bring gifts to a wedding (ever) and will send things directly to you home.  If they do bring giftst to the wedding you can return them easily to most stores and get credit to rebuy things back home.  I know this adds some extra steps for you, but I think it will probably be easiest.  If you don’t register you risk getting things that you can not return if they are given at the wedding.   Also, have you thought of doing a honeymoon registry…this might help avoid some of the actual gifts.  If you do register be sure to do it at stores that you have locally and are available in area where you are getting married.  Also, be sure they have good return policies. 

Post # 6
Member
13101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

We’re driving from TX to IN and back for our out-of-state wedding so that we can bring presents back with us!

Post # 9
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Have someone spread the word on your behalf, don’t put it in writing anywhere. And I agree that setting up a registry is actually a good idea for people who want to buy you an actual gift because you can actually have the ship-to address WA.

We had the same problem, live in NYC wedding in Philly and were going straight to our honeymoon right after the wedding. So we set up some small registries with the ship-to address as our parents house (we also can’t get packages at our address) and spread the word that we really would prefer cash and didn’t want gifts at the wedding.

It totally didn’t work. So many people brought big gift boxes to our wedding, I was floored. While I appreciate getting a gift, I was wondering what these people were thinking – obviously it is a huge imposition on us to do it this way and we offered so many easier alternatives for everyone. I know I’m just going to sound ungrateful saying so, but it’s the truth.

Post # 10
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I think the best way is to not register and if people ask about it just have your family members tell them about the transportation issue and that a card would be better.

People don’t always know that they shouldn’t bring gifts to a reception and instead should have them mailed to the couple’s home.  In fact, most people here in my midwest circle don’t know that at all!  Everyone brought their gift to my reception.  Only the couple of guests at our wedding that were originally from a big city like Chicago, actually had the gifts mailed to our house.

So counting on the fact that people “should know”, as mzmarzipan suggested above, is going to cause a lot of problems in my opinion.

Post # 11
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would just not create a registry.  A lot of people will just naturally opt to give you cash, since they don’t know what you guys need/want.  I don’t know if its a regional thing or not, but most people don’t bring gifts to weddings anymore.  A lot of people sent them to us before and after the wedding.  The cards were the only thing they brought.  I’d bring an empty duffle, just in case. 

Post # 12
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We have a similar-ish situation: we’ll be married in upstate NY, I’m moving to OH right after the wedding. We are registered at 3 places (pottery barn, macy’s, crate&barrel) since it’s our first time living together so we need stuff (like woooah!) does anyone know if you can ask a registry to hold sending gifts until a certain date? FI’s been getting packages in OH but he’s not home during the day and we don’t want them shipped to NYC where I live b/c there’s no room in the car to move them….

Post # 13
Member
13101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@amariem25: Yeah – maybe its a midwestern thing because people almost always bring the gifts to the weddings I’ve been to (although almost all of my FI’s southern family is planning on doing the same thing too).  We’ve had a couple (maybe half a dozen) gifts sent to us beforehand (but two of those were from non-attendees).

Post # 14
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think it’s best to ask guest to send gifts directly to the home, maybe you can see if the store your register at can put a special message on the regirsty so when people go to purchase they will be reminded that its best to ship direct

Post # 15
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

If you have a wedding website, you can put a little note on the registry page saying that you prefer to have gifts shipped to your home in WA.

Post # 16
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

What my friend did for her registry and I will do for mine as well, since I am getting married 200 miles away from where we are living. You can register, and then the stores will put on the registry online or when they go into the store that gifts must be sent to the recipeients home. My FI cousin did the same thing, since a lot of the family was from out of town. We bought her gift on target.com and it mailed right to her house. It was amazing, and we didn’t have a hassle of travelling with glass cook ware and she didn’t have a hassle with getting them from the reception to their home before the honeymoon!!!

Hope that helps!

 

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