- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2016 - Canaan Valley Resort, WV
We ordered our Save the Dates yesterday because of the awesome sale on Vista Print. Yay! I sured up the guest lists on both sides and now there is a fight.
To begin with, at the very beginning, I asked both my mom and my fiance’s mom for lists. My mom said you know our list, so that’s who I wrote down. She knew I wanted a smaller wedding so she only added 4 people besides my cousins. I have 12 first cousins and 6 aunts and uncles, and with cousin’s significant others and kids, there’s about 22 of us.
My parents are upset because I didn’t “sit down” with them and go over a list like I did with my fiance’s mom, but she didn’t say “you know our list.”
My fiance has a HUGE family. 55 at Thanksgiving Dinner and that’s just his Dad’s side, only first cousins and Aunts and Uncles. His mom side has around 30 people, and when you add great aunts and uncles, and cousins kids and significant others she has right around 100.
I really wanted to keep it under 150, and I thought it would be easy with just adding a few of Mom and Dad’s friends and what was left over for my friends. Now my dad kept adding more. He added an additional 30 people, his first cousins, co-workers, and what not and encouraged me to invite some of my bridal party’s parents.
After I sured it up this past week over Thanksgiving, were at 215. My dad is furious because now he can’t afford to feed these people and blames my fiance’s family. I tried to explain to him, that my future mother in law only invited family, not co-workers I’ve never met and accounted for plus one’s I didn’t know existed. When I try to explain to him that she has not invited a single person that I have not met, like these families vacation together and get together like 5 times a year outside of the holiday, he gets furious. I get that my parents are paying 2/3s of this, and I know my fiance’s family is huge, but they are super close. There are people from my dad’s side of the family I’ve met once or never met. I tried to avoid it at the beginning and tried not to compare the families but now he wants to know why and when I told him that they’re just closer than our family, he gets upset and makes me cry.
With the bridal party, their significant others, and only inviting friends that invited us to their weddings, my fiance and my list is like 40 people just fyi.