Post # 1
I am really hoping you can help me with this dilemma I am having. I work for a small family company, 2 bosses (father-daughter), myself and another girl hired about 10 months ago. I have worked here for almost 4 years (November is anniversary).
Everything was ok with work until about a year ago when they completely overloaded me. I will try to keep this short, but they expected me to run a portion of the business that I had no experience in, wasn’t compensated for etc. Led to me having a series of breakdowns and after various attempts to get rid of the work the father would always make me feel bad. Short in short, he is an ass. He is to everyone. The last blow out I had with them ended with him telling me to “shut up or quit, but he wouldn’t listen to me bitch about this other portion of my job anymore”.
Well someone came along and he has now taken over that aspect, so after a year I am back to my original duties and much happier. But that year and the way I was treated by him (and by his daughter for being the silent partner to it all) really soured me. It caused me alot of stress that i didn’t need.
The years prior to this were good, no huge complaints just him being an ass, but like I said that is just him. They have given me small perks along the way but like I said this last year really soured me. They did when I started working here help me in my home purchase as they are in that field. I am currently looking for a new job due to it and me just wanting to take the next step in my career.
Here is the dilemma, small company, we know alot about personal items of eachother, before this whole thing they were definately invited to the wedding, now I don’t know. I want to be the bigger person and invite them, and my family said they don’t want to see them there but it is my call.
What the hell should I do?
As a side note, they gave me 2 bonus days in recognition of all my hard work (I easily worked that plus about 2 weeks in my own time over a few months to keep on top of all the work so its not a huge bonus), and those 2 days are during the time off I need for my wedding.
Post # 3
Don’t invite them. You don’t want them there and neither does your family. If they say anything (which I doubt they will) just say you have a budget you need to stick to and unfortunately you couldn’t invite everyone.
Post # 4
No. I love my office and managers but I am not inviting anyone from work to the wedding. If it comes up and you feel like they’re hinting at wanting to be invited, you can say something about trying to keep the guest list small (or about how many family members you have if it’s not small).
I think keeping work and personal life separate (ie wedding in the personal life sphere) is more than fine.
Post # 5
You don’t have to if you don’t want to. You can keep your personal life seperate. If they mention anything to you, you can just say that you’re keeping the guest list small or you had to make cuts to fit the venue. I wouldn’t discuss the wedding planning with them either.
Post # 6
No way, the relationship isn’t the same and with the new dynamic, you don’t want them to be a part of your special day. Totally understandable. It’s a job, you work hard and you’re paid for it or compensated with perquisites occasionally (ie help with house, 2 days off etc) They don’t do you any favors.
Post # 7
I wouldn’t invite them, and I would avoid talking about wedding plans at work so they don’t assume they’re invited.
Post # 8
Did they already receive save the dates? If so, then they should be invited.
Otherwise, no. Keep work and social separate.
Post # 9
@missjewels: just because you work with them, does not mean you have to invite them.
i invited no coworkers.
Post # 10
I can’t think of any boss that expects to be invited, unless you had a significant out-of-office friendship (e.g. regular hangouts). So there’s certainly no obligation for you to invite that person.
In addition, I think it’s really unprofessional for him to have acted the way he did, regardless of whether it has stopped or not.
I personally would not invite him. If it’s easier, I wouldn’t invite anyone from the office. I invited my boss and other coworkers, but my current boss is a great guy and very respectful of me and others.