Post # 1
I need to get my invitations printed, but I worry about the wording. I know there’s lots of people way better with this then what I am – it would be great if you could have a look at my invitation + insert before I submit the material. Just to give me some peace of mind. 🙂
Here’s the invitation:
And the insert:
Post # 3
no need to worry! this is pretty straight forward and detailed. i like it!
Post # 4
Looks great to me! Your wedding sounds so interesting and awesome! Be sure to post pictures after!
Post # 6
@MxH13: Thanks – I’m just worried as English is my second language!
@FoolsintheRain: I will. Though we won’t have a professional photographer – too remote to get someone there!
@julies1949: Thank you!
@This Time Round: I’ve seen you provide some excellent feedback – would you mind having a look and let me know what you think?
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2013 - The Down Town Club, Philadelphia
@eocenia: I think it looks great! The only thing that stood out to me is that if you are using “two o’clock in the afternoon” than you should also write out the date completely: “Saturday, the 3rd of August, twenty thirteen”
But since you say in the insert that it’s a casual affair, you can go with
Saturday, August 3rd, 2013
Post # 8
You invitations look beautiful!
Here are some comments from someone who has edited documents for more than 20 years.
Under “Ceremony,” I would change the words “please feel free” to “you may wish to.”
Also, you need a comma between “and,” and “we” in the last line of that section, because you have two, independent clauses, joined by a conjunction.
Under “Lodging,” I would change “up to” to “prior to.” You also have a subject/verb agreement problem in this section. “Are” is a plural verb, but “a number” is singular. The best way to fix this is to change “a number of” to “many.”
Post # 9
TO @eocenia: have to agree 100% with julies1949: … I LOVE IT !!
Think it is so pretty. You did an excellent job (still blown away by the artwork you created)
Reeniero: is correct that as far as the Rules of Etiquette go, the formality of the wording could have the Date / Year spelled out in full… but to be honest I wouldn’t change it. I like it exactly as it is.
(The trick to Etiquette sometimes is knowing what fits where based on the circumstance)
First and foremost, the way you have it now… fits… not only across the page as is so beautifully… but it also fits your theme of being somewhere in the middle between Formal and Casual… infact I think you summed up your whole Wedding quite well, not only for the clothing options… but for the whole feel of the event as “Smart Casual”.
Brielle: covered the grammar issues well. I will agree that the two that stood out for me were “please feel free to”… which does read better as “you may wish to”
And also changing “the week up to the wedding” to “the week prior to the wedding”
The only way “up to” works is when it is stated as “the week leading up to the wedding”… and that is too cumbersome and long.
Hope this helps,
Post # 10
@Reeniero: Thanks! I opted for 2013 as I never liked the spelled version, but decided to write out the time for the balance of the layout. I know it’s not strictly correct, but I’m just going to do it anyway! 🙂
@Brielle: Thank you – many great points! I made the corrections and the text got a much better flow. I also changed “wear” to “bring” and used “several” instead of “a number”. “Many” just sounded too much as there will be no more than 4-5 options.
@This Time Round: Thank you! I’ve had so much fun putting it together and I’m so happy with all the great suggestions I got here on the bee!
As I wrote in a previous comment, I know the date and time wasn’t following etiquette but it just looked better. I think you summed it up well by saying that the wedding will be somewhere in the middle between Formal and Casual! Changed the wording to “prior” instead, thanks for pointing it out – it did look funny before, but I couldn’t figure out a way to fix it.
Post # 11
@This Time Round:
I am very glad to have been able to help! Unfortunately, after taking time to edit Eocenia’s wording, I failed miserably at editing my OWN. I have no idea how I ended up with not just one but TWO extraneous commas in my own comment from last night. Clearly, I should refrain from commenting on these types of posts when the hour is late, and I am tired, lol!
Post # 12
@Brielle: Well, the good thing is that English is my second language. Meaning that I didn’t notice and that I still consider you a wonderful source!
Thanks for all your help!