Post # 1
I’ve been in a relationship for 2 & 1/2 years and I got engaged about 10 months ago. However, for the last two months my relationship has been rough. When my fiance lost his job his whole attitude changed. We have been constantly fighting. I am away at college so we barely see one another. I got back about a month ago and since then he has seen me twice. We had a big argument 3 weeks ago. He called me names like immature little girl, mentally ill, go see a therapist, and unintelligent. He also said that our engagment was his biggest mistake. When I said how I was feeling he said that I should contact a therapist because he doesn’t want to hear it. This isn’t the first time he’s called me names but every time I usually forgive him. However, this time the words hurt me alot worse than ever before. When I confronted him and told him that he was verbally abusing and emotionally abusing me he blamed me. He said if I just gave him space then none of this would’ve happened. He completely cut me off saying that he needs to clear his head. Therefore, I didn’t hear back for over a week. He decided to take me out for my birthday yesterday and everything was okay. But I’m not sure I can forgive him for what he said to me… Please help
Post # 2
This is a crappy relationship and you shouldn’t be dating this guy or marrying him.
Post # 3
He’s gaslighting you. I would seriously end that relationship. You need a partner who will be reliable in good times and bad, and it doesn’t sound like he’s able to do that. This is emotional abuse.
Post # 4
Red flags. He is attacking you and blaming you. Do you really want to marry someone who calls you “mentally ill”???
Post # 5
Run. He’s verbally abusive and he is gaslighting you — those are both 100% dealbreakers. It sounds like you got engaged in the honeymoon stage and he’s now showing you his true colors; do not sign up for a lifetime of this.
Post # 6
My gosh – Bee. This definitely sounds like gaslighting. He sounds plain awful! We can’t tell you what to do, but know if he’s like this now, he’ll be like this when you’re married, worse even as behaviour like this only escalates. Clearly he doesn’t take stress or change well – what happens when you have kids (arguably the most testing, stressful thing you can do)?
I know it’s really difficult – pouring years of your life into one person, only to walk away from it. But for the sake of your own sanity and quality of life, think long and hard about the person he is before you marry him.
Post # 7
This is bad. He blames his shitty behavior on “needing space” when you’ve seen him twice in a month and have been away at school??
Bee, HE doesn’t want to be in this relationship anymore–you should stop wanting to be, too. Get out now.
Post # 8
I am so sorry you’re dealing with this bee, hugs. You do not deserve this kind of treatment, from anyone, fiancé or not. Getting laid off is absolutely no excuse to treat someone you care about that way and you should not need to constantly forgive him for such abuse. I realize it’s easy for the rest of us to say breakup with him and call of the engagement, but I really do think you need to take a step back from the relationship yourself to really consider whether you can, and Lee importantly, want to spend the rest of your life like this. Best of luck ❤️
Post # 9
There are so many MEN out there who would never treat you this way. The fact that he said the engagement was the biggest mistake speaks volume. You deserve more, dump him.
Post # 10
This is not at all normal or acceptable. I would run far far away from this jerk.
Post # 11
He’s an abuser, Bee. Getting engaged was your biggest mistake. You know better now. Run far, run fast from this one. It only gets worse from here.
Post # 12
- Wedding: November 2019 - City, State
I’m sorry OP, anyone who told me that asking me to marry them was their biggest mistake would get a fast-track ticket the hell out of my life. Why on earth would you sign up for a life full of that bullshit?? Engagements should be happy and exciting, do you think you can ever get past the things he’s said to you? How could you ever be excited about marrying this asshole? I’d be done. No second thoughts about it. Sorry bee!
Post # 13
This relationship is on life support and the plug should be pulled. This is not healthy or ok. You sound very young, or am I mistaken?