(Closed) Help with Understanding Invitation

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Which solution is best?

    Take your mother to the wedding if she wants to go

    Have your mother ask your brother to bring her to the wedding

    Tell your brother that your mother wants to go and that you cannot bring her

  • Post # 17
    1088 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @aspasia475:  You always give the BEST answers. If I ever have an etiquette question, I know who to ask!

    Post # 19
    3148 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Your kids arent invited.  If they arent close with your neice then why should they be.  Its costs money to invite them The older kids should be able to stay home and take care of the younger ones. If you dont want a night away to attend then dont go. Your brother should be dealing with getting his mother to the wedding. 

    Post # 20
    34 posts
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I agree with what others have said, just you and your husband are invited, not your kids.  Whatever you decide to do, I would say don’t confront the bride and groom or your brother about this.  There’s so much that goes into planning a wedding, and it could be one of many reasons why they chose not to invite your children.  A few years ago one of my cousin’s got married and they chose to invite just their Aunts & Uncles and only 2 (out of 11) cousins.  They invited the two cousins they were closest to, and the rest were not invited.  I think that caused more hurt feelings than just not inviting any cousins at all, so could be why they chose not to invite your older kids and exclude the younger ones.  Either way, at the time of my cousin’s wedding, we didn’t say anything and although I was a little hurt at the time, my parents still went to support the bride and groom.  Now that I am planning my own wedding, I completely understand where they were coming from.  Both money and space at their reception venue were big issues from them, and they really needed to cut their numbers down wherever possible, and I didn’t realize until now how stressful that is.  The only reason I bring that up is to say, you don’t necessarily understand what kind of stresses or constraints they are facing when planning their own wedding, and the reality is no one is “entitled” to an invitation, it’s entirely up to the bride and groom at the end of the day.


    Post # 22
    7439 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

     Arriving here late to the party 😉 *wink*

    As always @aspasia475: has given AMAZING advice once again.  Lol, that is their forte… perfect for any occasion / need.  So all I can say is I agree 100%

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    View original reply
    @KnitterBee:  a BIG Welcome to “the Hive” !!

    And YES this website is addictive… lots of great Boards here be you a Guest, Mother of the Bride… or just a woman wanting to have a nice social place to enjoy a cup of coffee while purusing the Nesting Boards (Decorating, Recipes and the like).  And the ages of the gals here run the gammit… 20s to Grammas (I myself am a recent Encore Bride in my 50s).

    Thanks for the UPDATE (Reply # 20).

    Sounds like you’ve come up with the perfect solution for all involved

    (I totally understood the initial confusion… Weddings have certainly changed in recent time)

    Do know that you sound like a very classy lady… that came thru in your post with how you’ve resolved all these issues (lol, your Brother should get to know you better)

    Things will all work out in the end… and I’m sure you’ll all have a great trip to the City.  And your Mom an excellent time as well being part of her Grand Daughter’s Big Day… no doubt she’ll appreciate your kindness in making it happen for her.

    As a Mom (now Step Mom… gee I’ve never said that before)… to grown children in their 20s and 30s, I know that you and I will be in for some modern challenges when our kids do get married… be it a change in Etiquette, Traditions or Accepted Practices (not to mention expense).  Weddings, and the act of planning one now is a huge undertaking… so many aspects to think about / balance vs what it was like when I was in my early 20s some 30 odd years ago planning my first one… lol that was a walk-in-the park vs todays Etiquette Mine-field.


    Post # 23
    636 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014


    that the ‘wedding’ of two people who have been living together in a conjugal relationship for years and enjoying social recognition of their couplehood just as long, is relatively INsignificant.

    @aspasia475:   Your advice is great, but to actually say that a couple’s wedding is insignificant???

    I have been living with my boyfriend for nearly a year, and althought we are commited to each other, it doesn’t make are wedding less significant than that of a couple who hasn’t cohabitated before marriage.

    Maybe it’s my family or social circle but living together and getting married are perceived as being VERY different things. 

    The topic ‘Help with Understanding Invitation’ is closed to new replies.

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