(Closed) Help with website wording!

posted 6 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

You could just write “Please wear your Sunday best for Mass.” (which sounds less pushy and is a phrase that many a lapsed Catholic is probably familiar with). 🙂

Post # 4
Member
13015 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

My Mom always had an expression: “God doesn’t care what you wear, just that you’re there.”  If you want to make it cutesy.. “God doesn’t care what you wear, just that you’re there; however, keep our priest happy and don’t leave those shoulders bare!”

Yeah, I don’t know.  Sorry! haha.

Post # 5
Member
9550 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MsMindle:  This wording would work well for non-Catholic’s as well

@abbie017:  Hahaha! I love that!

Also, is there a specific dress code? If there is something specific for the church (like no knees or sholders visible) then be specific. If not then you can be more general.

But go ahead and come to terms that somebody will probably come in something inappropriate. Even if you say Sunday Best and Cover Knees and Shoulders. Someone will show up in a skin tight dress. It’s not a reflection on you so don’t let it stress you out. Do what you can and leave the rest to God!

Post # 6
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I really don’t think you should tell people what to wear. They will see from the invitation that the ceremony is in a church, and can use their best judgement.

Yes, some people will still wear things that you think show too much skin, but that is life. I personally don’t think it is a huge deal for someone to wear strapless or spaghetti straps in church for a wedding.

Post # 8
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

You could perhaps say something along the lines of Modest Attire Requested.  It would be nice if the fact it was a church was enough to make people cover up.  But I attended a Catholic wedding earlier this summer where two girls were sporting 6 inch stillettos with mini skirts that barely cleared their rear ends and that showed a lot of cleavage, think one step more modest than the gypsy weddings, except this was in a small town in Michigan!

Post # 10
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@moose91:  Yes, I understand. I am Catholic as well. But it’s not just a Catholic thing. I’m pretty sure most places of worship prefer more modest attire. Most people can use their best judgement and select something appropriate to wear.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t think any good can come from asking people via your website to dress modestly. I would be offended if I was invited to a wedding and the bride put a “dress code” on her wedding website. Even something simple like saying “wear your Sunday best” could be offensive.

If you really are concerned about modesty, I think you should provide shawls for the ladies to take and use inside the church. Similar to how some old/traditional churches provide head coverings for the women who may be visiting or didn’t bring their own.

Post # 11
Member
990 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If you put Sunday best I as a catholic who goes to church every Sunday would probably show up in a halter or strapless dress. Unless you go to a super conservative church young adults wear strapless and kids even wear jeans! I have this issue (well I don’t care about strapless but it does need to be formal) I would use use pictures on the site to explain this. PAINT is wonderful here since you can put an X through the bad and showcase the good.

Post # 12
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Does your church have the dress code written out somewhere?  Maybe you could just say something like “Our church maintains a regular dress code for services.” and then quote the dress code (or succinctly summarize it to sound like it came from some kind of rule book).  Then it is just part of your venue’s requirements and not a personal favor.  Then if you have some shawls there, it will seem like that’s the norm at mass there, and it won’t be singling them out.

 

Post # 13
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Also, I am putting a dress code on my wedding site.  I’m sure your wedding is much more formal than mine.  I’m having it at the beach, and it’s pretty small- max of 100 guests.  We just said  “We want our guests to be comfortable at our beach wedding, but we have pictures to take, so no beach bums, please!” then under attire we listed “beach formal” (yes, that’s a thing) or “business casual.” Then I said “for suggestions:” and provided a couple of links. 

I can understand that some people may be offended by this, but the instructions aren’t for the people that know what to wear.  They are for the people that NEED instructions.  We all have some of those on our guest lists. If I don’t say it, some people will show up in actual beachwear.  Plus, there is less chance of offense at my wedding because we know everyone really well, so we can just make it funny. 

Post # 14
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

@babymakes3:  Hmmm … I would think that guests might be more offended if she didn’t put anything on the website, they showed up in strapless/cleavage/etc. and then got handed a shawl and told to cover up. I don’t think it’s a bad idea to put something on the website (and then have a few shawls handy – that way, people are forewarned and if they still show up too exposed, they don’t have any right to be annoyed if you give them a shawl and ask them to cover up).

Post # 15
Member
990 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Another thing to address here… The fact that someone may not see the site or forget… If you and your mom and sisters perhaps have some pashminas in the closet… Pull them out and have them ready for the big day. If I arrived i wouldn’t be offended to wear one at the service. Now I wouldn’t expect your guests to keep them on at the reception but out of respect for the church I am sure they would be happy to oblige.

Post # 16
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

If you don’t wear bare shoulders, you DEFINITELY need to mention that.  You can have bare shoulders and be much more modestly dressed than someone with shoulders covered but who is showing a ton of cleavage or wearing a too-short skirt, know what I mean?

It seems like this isn’t about modesty as much as it’s about the church’s requirements in particular – and you’re right, those who aren’t Catholic wouldn’t know that they need to cover shoulders.  I didn’t realize showing shoulders was a no-no until I read this – and as a Christian, I already practice modesty in my everday dress.

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