(Closed) Help! Wording invitation/dress code

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How should I word my invites if I want men to wear suits and women to wear long or cocktail dress?
    Formal or cocktail attire : (8 votes)
    23 %
    Black tie optional : (6 votes)
    17 %
    Formal attire : (9 votes)
    26 %
    Cocktail attire : (12 votes)
    34 %
  • Post # 4
    Member
    194 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @Monana:  I agree, Formal or Cocktail attire. That way men know that suits are the expectation and women know they can wear either LONG or SHORT dresses.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2390 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    No.  You never say anything about attire unless it’s black tie.  Period.  Saying anything else will have the effect of making you look like you actually DON’T know anything about the formality of an event.

    The formality of an affair other than black tie is reflected in the style and formality of the invitation.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2390 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @Monana:  Yeah, because the idea is that guests are adults and don’t need to be told what to wear, and that they can easily take their cue from the invitation – both the style of the actual invitation itself and the location and time of the wedding.

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    194 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @Monana:  It might be “bad etiquette” but honestly, so many etiquette rules are outdated. Some people just get all up in arms over little etiquette rules. I’ve actually read that it is of poor etiquette to include wedding registry information. You know, since your guests are adults and can decide what present to get you without being told. However, every single invite I’ve ever received has included both attire and a wedding registry.

    Do what you want. Make your call from what you typically see on an invitation, don’t just follow etiquette rules because they are the “rules”. If people put that information on wedding invites, then it is probably regionally appropriate and I say go for it.

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    963 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I’d put cocktail attire. IMO formal is just too vague and everyone would intepret it differently. Personally I’d wonder if formal meant similar to black tie. I think black tie optional sounds more formal than you’re wanting because I would think that I’d definitely need a long dress and I probably should spring for a tux.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2390 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @wbg21:  OK, well, this is the ETIQUETTE board, so I’m going to answer with what’s correct etiquette.  

    It is not OK to put registry info on an invitation.  That should be spread by word of mouth.  Actually, registries are terrible etiquette period, but don’t make it worse by including it on the invitation – no mention of gifts should ever be made since they’re not required.  And the one thing you’re exactly right about?  Adults CAN make their own decision about what (if anything) they want to give you!

    It’s a terrible suggestion to just do what you want based on the other invitations you see.  Why do you think etiquette exists period?  

    Don’t tell me how to post, and stop giving advice on things you obviously know nothing about.

    Post # 12
    Member
    194 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @oneofthesethings:  Actually, I had etiquette force fed to me all through my childhood and teenage years. I’m willing to bet I know the “rules” better than you. I chose make my own choices, and not rely blindly on these “rules”. Some I agree with and others I don’t. The truth is only etiquette buffs get offended when something isn’t in line with what someone says is etiquette, and most people aren’t etiquette buffs, which is why I gave her the advice I did. Most people don’t give a hoot about etiquette rules, and most people don’t follow each one to a T. And sorry to burst your bubble, but what is regionally accepted doesn’t always align with what the etiquette rules dictate. For example, etiquette rules say that only married, engaged, or living together (civil union) people should get an automatic +1, however, I think that it is in poor taste to exclude someone’s SO because they do not fall into these categories. Using etiquette rules as an excuse to be blatently rude not only shows a weak-minded person, but also an arrogant one at that. If I wanted I could argue against so many of these absolutely ignorant, outdated etiquette rules, but I don’t want to. It is Saturday night and I think I am going to go drink beer out of a can. (GASP! Beer! Not out of a can! How dare a lady!)

    Oh my gosh! This is the etiquette boards? No way!? I didn’t realize that on the etiquette boards you weren’t allowed to speak out AGAINST certain “rules”. I really think that adults can make their own choices as to what is right or wrong, and how they should behave in certain situations. They don’t need some etiquette rules telling them how to think and behave.

    Don’t tell you how to post? Was I ever even addressing you? No? The only one who is trying to tell people how to post is you. Did you even realize that? No? Okay then.

    Have to actually been to any etiquette classes? Or attend a finishing school? If so, I can understand your attitude, and I know many people like you. Those people and I do not get along and never will. They are far too arrogant for my taste.

    Clearly you and I will never see eye to eye, and I’m respectfully declining to continue this conversation, as I do not wish to school you any more than I already have. It is not my job to correct your behaviors, so please, continue on.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2712 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would say cocktail attire, but I wouldn’t put it on the invites – I’d just put it on your wedding website.  It’s poor etiquette to put the dress code on the invites because it implies that you don’t think guests will know how to dress.  The only exceptions are black-tie and if the venue has a specific dress code.  I’m sure most people won’t care what you put on the invite, but some guests might side-eye it a bit so I’d just put it on your website to be safe.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1202 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @Monana:  I actually posted a similar thread. A bee gave me the cutest saying, “We are getting hitched in style, so leave the jeans at home and dust off your best cocktail attire.” We’re going to add add “Chuckes approve” with a converse logo. Its perfect for where we’re getting married. I love the semi- formal wear on men with chucks. lol

    The topic ‘Help! Wording invitation/dress code’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors