(Closed) Helped a coworker & she kinda turned on me… what now?

posted 5 years ago in Career
  • poll: What do I do about bad-mouthing coworker?
    Turn the other cheek; keep helping her out. : (0 votes)
    Be "too busy" to help her. : (18 votes)
    62 %
    Next time she asks for help, tell her no and cite what she did/said as the reason. : (9 votes)
    31 %
    Bring up the topic with the boss. : (2 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    851 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Say you are too busy, calling het out will lead to more drama and helping her more is a bad idea.

    Post # 4
    851 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I woulall so mention to your boss your side of the story.

    Post # 5
    3041 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    @lanalnoco:  If it were me – I helped someone out & they lied to my boss saying we argued, I would not help them any time soon. Maybe she lied to manipulate her boss to give her easier work or something? I’m a forgiving person & I wouldn’t “hate” her or anything but I would avoid her. If you want to, confront her on this & ask her why she told your co-workers/boss that we argued. Her answer/actions after that would probably determine if I’d try helping her out again. I would also tell my boss my side of the story & that you don’t want drama.








    I’d just say I was too busy with my own work & that I don’t appreciate being talked about behind my back.








    Post # 6
    2299 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I wouldn’t help her again. It’s not worth your job and it would be better to just avoid her.

    Post # 7
    3194 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @lanalnoco:  too busy. This lady is a b*tch and doesn’t deserve your help. 

    Post # 8
    2073 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @lanalnoco:  I’d say something along the lines of “Now is not a good time” if she approaches you again. It may be worth mentioning something to your boss about the incident just so she is aware of your side of the situation. I’m sorry you have to deal with her. I’m an SLP at a school and I’ve worked with some crazy teachers/staff…there’s always that one that just gets under your skin.


    Also love the “child emergency: he’s looking at me funny” comment. I used to hear thaso countless times a day when I worked at a school for emotionally disturbed kids.  It was a federal emergency every.single.time.  oh, kiddos!

    Post # 9
    2685 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I’m not a fan of passive aggressive behavior, and it really wouldn’t teach her anything about her bad behavior. I would not say anything to her if it’s the two of your alone, though, because then it becomes about she said-she said. Let her know that you’d like to help her but don’t appreciate how she reacted the last time you tried. Ugh. Such a mess. Good luck.

    Post # 10
    4464 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I would be too busy to help her since you never know how she can twist your words if you tell her why you don’t want to help her (like that you know she made up the heated conversation and “told on you” to the boss). I would just keep my distance and freeze her out a little. When it comes to the professional word (I’m a teacher too) it’s much better to have to do something uncomfortable like brush off a coworker than have someone potentially mess with your professionalism and reputation. I don’t think I would bring up the topic with your boss if you know that the general opinion is that she’s a little coocoo for cocoa puffs anyway – show your boss that you rise above and don’t want to escalate the issue. 

    Post # 11
    2204 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I would stop helping her, right away and keep your distance.

    i would also pull your boss aside, or find time to talk privately, and say something like”hey, i just wanted to let you know I’ve been trying to help so-so. Im passionate about working here and making this a great school. This might sound crazy but I heard I came across to her as argumentative and that’s not my intention at all. Is there anything I or my colleagues can do to support this new person? She seems to be having a hard time”


    This shows you’re mature, above drama and sorta calls her out for sucking.

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