Post # 1
SO my ring is unique to say the least, do I think it’s pretty, yes. Is it what I asked for? no.
I’ve been losing alot of weight, the ring is too big, he got it on sale and didn’t really take into account anything I like. I feel like it was an impulse buy because he wanted to propose NOW and he saw the cheeeapest way to do it. And he def didn’t think about bands.
But I’ve kept that to myself because it was what he picked and he proposed which is it what I wanted. But we’re coming closer to the wedding date and this ring is going to require custom made wedding bands and he’s done nothing to get started on that and I brought it up in the car today that he needed to work on it.
I said you know this can get really expensive, it may be cheaper for me to move this ring to my right hand and get another set I like for my left.
then he drops the bomb “Do you even like your ring?”
I never would have confronted him with how I feel about the ring, but I don’t like to lie to him esp with direct questions so I basically said I think you were excited and bought a ring you loved but without thinking about bands, and the cost of bands. It isn’t anything I asked for but I still think it’s a great ring.
He looked like i kicked him in the teeth, spit on his puppy and punched his best man in the face.
WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO SAY??? WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE???
WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW
Post # 3
I’m sorry you don’t like your ring! It sounds like you made a good effort to tactfully and gently tell him that you’d prefer another style. Yes, the wedding band can be hard to find if the ring is a different shape or has something unique about it that wouldn’t look “right” with a more common style band. Some men carry alot of pride behind “their” ring, so I can understand how he’d be a little hurt, but honestly I think he may need to suck it up a little since HE is NOT the one wearing it. You suggested moving it to your right hand, so it’s not like you’re banishing it to the jewelry box. Would he be open to keeping the gemstone and having it reset?
ETA: Do you mind posting a picture of the ring?
Post # 4
I think (correct me if I’m wrong) the majority of us didn’t get the ring we “wanted” that doesn’t mean you don’t love the ring you got. I’ve come to love the ring I got more than the ring I wanted but it’s cause it’s my style, there’s a lot of ring I see and I like but I’ll never wear.
You should be able to tell your Fiance if you’re not happy with your ring, however the way you did it might be a bit harsh. Was it necessary to tell him you think he bought in a impulse? no. Maybe he did put a lot of tought on it and you hurted him by telling him how wrong he was by thinking you’d like it.
Anyway. What I’d do is to sit with him and first of all apologize for hurting his feelings, tell him you like the ring but thinking about bands you find it inconvenient. Tell him your options (whether you want to get a whole new set or get a costume band) but point out what YOU want cause you don’t want to get stuck into something you’re not 100% happy with again.
Post # 5
Well, I think you need to be completely honest with him. A ring does not define the relationship or the love within the relationship, and as a woman who had an idea of what she wanted before he bought the ring, he should have at least taken that into consideration. You need to sit down with him and see what type of budget you have to spend on having a custom band made if you havent already. If the ring is really something that you don’t want to wear on your left hand, tell him. If buying a new set upsets him, or if it’s out of budget (I would think that would be more expensive than having a band made), maybe you could buy something like this:
at $599 and 1 ct.t.w. I think it’s a steal, and I’ve seen it in person when searching for my own band. If I didn’t have my e-ring, or for some reason couldn’t wear it, I would opt for something like this.
You both need to come to a happy medium, and you’re not going to get there by fighting and not being honest about how you feel. Especially about something as silly as a ring! There will be many more serious arguments in your relationship, don’t let a ring be one of them!
Post # 6
Your date says October of 2015, is that accurate? If so, I’d hardly say your date is ‘getting closer’… you’re still a long way off and there’s plenty of time to make adjustments!
I’d just have an honest discussion with him about it. I’m sure that at the end of the day, he just wants you to be completely happy with the ring you’re going to wear for the rest of your life. Try to keep emotions out of it, keep it short and sweet, and just be honest with the guy. Good luck!
Post # 7
Can you post a picture of your ring??? Also maybe a pic of a ring that you do like???? I think you did the right thing by being honest with him, and you shouldn’t have a set that you don’t love…
Post # 8
in addition to what other bees said….
assuming you have a center stone on your e-ring– is there any way you can have it reset? if you buy a pre-made setting, it might not cost very much, especially if you choose a simple solitaire type setting. plus, a solitaire setting looks good with just about any type of wedding band.
this might cost less than getting a whole new set. plus, that way, you keep the diamond he gave you (assuming it’s a diamond), and you’ll have a setting you like.
Post # 9
@KristenGotMarried: yes, inaccurate 🙂
I’m not under my normal name, and i’m not posting a photo of the ring since under my normal name, I have thrown it up a few times. like I said I don’t dislike it, it’s pretty…just not what i asked for
@janie-janie: I did say something about having the stones repurposed but by that point i’m pretty sure he was NOT hearing me
@Carliej01: Is that from Zales? I REALLY like that actually, THANKS!
Post # 10
@Coffee cup: I didn’t tell HIM it was an impulse buy, I have just been thinking it for a long time. Like he felt this magical overwhelming sensation of love and just bought a ring to propose
Post # 11
I’m confused how a whole new e-ring would be cheaper than making a wedding band….
He doesn’t need to be the one to get the ball rolling on the wedding band you can take charge on it. You can also wear your e-ring and wedding band separately like some girls do if cost is an issue.
And for what it’s worth, I did not get the ring I wanted and hated my ring the first time I saw a photo of it. But I love it and would never change it.
Post # 12
@nalure: It is from Zales lol. One of my BF’s wears just a diamond band similar to that, and I just love it. It’s so simple, yet there’s tons of sparkle!
Post # 13
Can you just wear a wedding band? My mom only wears her engagment ring on special occasions. Mainly because she has to wear rubber gloves for work and the ring might get stuck and accidently thrown out.
Get a pretty wedding band. You don’t HAVE to wear both all the time. Carliej01 posted a gorgeous one and it has the sparkle of two bands together! 🙂 lol
Post # 15
@yellowshoe: I’m very happy that you’ve learned to love your ring. This is what I want. He is getting the ring he asked for, and I don’t understand why it’s crime for me to attempt to get what I want too. The reason I’m not taking charge here, and I’m sure others here can empathize, is I’m in charge of like everything else wedding related. This was his ONE wedding job, well this and showing up.
Post # 16
I don’t think he dropped a bomb, becasue it was you who first brought up moving the ring and essentially he was like “why?”
OK that said, I don’t really think he needs to get on it… I think you need to get on it. if you want a custom band, go get one made yourself. I’m not sure if I’m alone in thinking that he is solely responsible for both rings. Like maybe input wise, but you should be the one getting on the custom made band…
But, I do think you have several options: 1) wear the e-ring only, no band 2) wear any band, only. e-ring on another finger/ hand. 3) buy yourself another set completely different on your own 4) wear a mismatched set (lots of ladies here already do that)
Damange control: tell him you should not have worded your opinion like that and say instead the ring wasn’t what I had pictured, but I love it and wouldn’t trade it for another. I love you, kiss and makeup.