(Closed) HELP…he took the ring back due to cheating accusation

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1497 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m sorry, I can’t imagine. If he won’t listen to you, can you write him a letter? Describe all the reasons why he can’t trust the roommate (lying, stealing, abusing drugs) and all the times you have been trustworthy as comparison? Even a hard-headed person must be able to see the sense in that.

Post # 4
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Future_MrsCulpepper:  nawww honey I am so sorry, but is there a reason why he would belive the ex roommate?? have you ever had a relationship like that with the roommate?? That just sounds so strange that your Fiance would believe this guy rather than you!!

All I can think of is maybe try to confront the roommate and ask him what his problem is and let him know how devastated you are and try to get him to admit to your Fiance that he was lying.

On the other hand, is this the man you really want to marry if he is so quick to judge and believe undesirable mates over you?? You’ll be his wfe, the mother of his children (if you choose to have them) and you should be a partnership – not against eachother. You should be able to trust eachother and put eachother first – not judge and jump to conclusions without proper evidence. 

I’m so sorry, good luck with it though xx

Post # 5
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

This sucks.  I wouldn’t put up with a Fiance that takes the word of any one over mine.  I’d probably pack whatever I could fit in my car and go somewhere … anywhere but there. 

 

If you think this will be the first time this happens … it won’t be.  He’ll always have doubts and do you really want to spend the rest of your life dealing with someone that doesn’t trust you? 

Post # 6
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Honestly, I would have you call the xroomate while your Fiance is on speakerphone and tell him to say the same things to see if he has the nerve to do so.

Post # 7
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

As difficult as this must be for you, if you did manage to convince him to take you back, are you sure you would ever be able to forgive him? He took the word of a known liar and thief over that of his future wife. And he didn’t even give you a chance to defend yourself. As hurt as you are right now, I think once the shock wears off a little, you’re going to be blisteringly angry that he treated you so poorly. 

Post # 8
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I find it disappointing that he trusted this friend more than you. skip the phone take your fiancé and confront this friend face face. . 

Post # 9
Member
6359 posts
Bee Keeper

Sounds like there are some major trust issues with your boyfriend. It’s not at a good point to be engaged anyway… imagine if you were married, and he doubted your fidelity so easily?

I don’t know the reason why he was so willing to believe those stories, but whatever it is, couple’s therapy seems essential to seeing if this relationship can be saved.

Post # 12
Member
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Oh honey,

I wish I knew what to say to help you. But I get the feeling we are very different creatures. If I were in your position I’d be demanding the ring back. Because it was a gift and you weren’t the one to f*** this up. If he is going to be an ass and waste 7.5 years of your life you might as well get some financial compensation. At least that would be what I was explaining to him. (Not that I’d sell the ring right away its more a tool to point out that he is the one with issues here.) Tell him he can either figure it out or stay out of your life and let you heal because there is no reason good enough to ignore your side of the story. He picked you to spend forever with not his ex-roommate. If this roommate’s words carry more weight than yours wish them well together and find your real life partner elsewhere. 

 

I guess my take on this is… Pick a fight and see if he really thinks your relationship is worth fighting for.

Post # 13
Member
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Future_MrsCulpepper:  if i were you, i’d be on the phone with that ex-room mate and get to the bottom of these accusations asap.  better still, meet him face to face with your fi present.

Post # 14
Member
6743 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Future_MrsCulpepper:  can u call him and record it?  this way, if he backs off the story, u have prrof.  but if he doesn’t, u just delete the recording. 

Post # 15
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t think I’d want to stay with someone who would believe a known liar over me. The situation AT LEAST deserves a discussion, not just him breaking off the engagement without hearing from you first. That wouldn’t fly with me, and I wouldn’t even try to get him back.

 

Post # 16
Member
11351 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I am so very sorry that this happened to you. I cannot even imagine.

I truly do not want to upset you. However, I cannot help but think there has to be more to this story than what you have shared with us. I cannot envision a couple that has been together for more than seven years breaking up over the unfounded accusations of a known liar and thief.

Are you able to provide any additional detail to help us understand what may have led your Fiance to have believed these accusations so quickly and why he would have chosen to take such dramatic action so quickly, before you even had a chance to deny these assertions?

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