Be very, very careful. I was a girl who never thought about a wedding, and was okay with eloping, and thus thought it was fine that I wasn’t excited.
Less than two years into the marriage, my husband left me. When I look back, I know that my reticence was due to the HUGE red flags I was ignoring. I wasn’t surprised when he left, but I could have saved myself a world of heartache if I had listened to my own apathy on the front end.
Take time to figure this out. I know you feel pulled ahead by the momentum you’ve begun, your family’s excitement, and his, but as another poster said, it is far easier to call off an engagement than a marriage.
If he loves you, he will truly listen and wait. But be clear as to the WHY, and expect a painful reaction from him at first.
I knew my spouse for less than a year before we got married, so your situation might be totally different. One principle is the same: you SHOULD be excited about marrying the man to whom you are about to dedicate your life.
My ex-husband was very perceptive. While he would later use this in hurtful ways, he and I had a very bizarre conversation a few weeks before the wedding where he basically just said, “Do you need to slow down?”
I was having weird feelings … not bad, not negative, not even panic … just an uneasiness. I didn’t listen, went whole-hog ahead, didn’t enjoy the wedding day even though my spouse did and I had some very happy moments, and am now divorced at 26.
You will never make a more important decision. Unless you want to curse yourself from the beginning, make sure that you are 100% certain. It is the HARDEST thing to do–step back when you had envisioned a certain future, and make the harder choice–but I PROMISE you, if you DO figure out later that it was the RIGHT choice, you will be SOOOOOOOOOO grateful.
P.S. I am now more excited than ever for my future wedding. I know what the real thing should look like. DO NOT SETTLE for second best, even if it’s only in your heart!