Post # 1
I have a guy friend who has a gf in another state & I’m getting concerned for him.
He lives in CO, she lives in CA so its a few days drive, or a plane ride to visit. They’ve been together for about 2.5 years & he visits her once a month but she never goes to visit him. He gets annoyed by this but she doesn’t have the money to do so. She wants to move to CO (move into his house) to be with him, but he wasn’t ok with that because its a big step. He doesn’t know if he even wants her to move to CO. He said he would feel bad if she moved to CO, left all her friends/family & it didn’t work out between them. Plus, she wouldn’t know anyone so she’d be around him all the time. He’s a very independant person who tells me he prefers being alone over being with others. He doesn’t have many friends where he is either, so he is alone a lot.
Now he tells me he may want a break from her. She’s a really good friend, nice, sweet, but he doesn’t find her that attractive. Its NOT about looks why he wants a break… its just, I feel you SHOULD find your SO attractive. Anyways, he doesn’t want to loose her as a friend if they “take a break”. He wants to go on dates with other girls in his state BEFORE he further commits to his CA gf. He could go on dates & she’d “never know” but he thinks he’d eventually tell her out of guilt.
Post # 3
I think they both deserve better and should break up.
Post # 4
It sounds like he wants the best of both worlds – the security of a girlfriend at “home” but the freedom to go out and explore. My ex boyfriend wanted this as well. It’s really not fair to the other person in the relationship. My opinion is that he needs to pick one or the other, which sounds like it would be breaking up. (My ex had all the same reasons, by the way. Didn’t want to lose the friendship, wanted a break in order to decide whether or not I was the right girl, etc.)
Post # 5
All th edisaster signs right here. I think they owe it to each other to call it a day.
Post # 6
Wow, your friend doesnt need a guy that needs to test the waters before committing to her, especially after 2.5 years! Thats a big sign of immaturity and he needs to grow up. After 2.5 and he needs to date other girls before he can committ further? What a d bag! He should already know if he wants to keep going in the relationship or not. Your friend deserves better, she needs to move on from him and he can just get over staying “friends” or not, he cant have his cake and eat it, too!
Post # 7
I think they should break up too… I’ve told him its not fair to either of them. He is too afraid to lose her, yet he doesn’t fully want her. It makes me feel sorry for her.
Post # 8
definitely time to move on. being long distance is a make or break. it makes you stronger OR, in some cases, it makes you realize that the person you’re with isn’t enough for you.
Post # 9
Oh, I don’t know the girl, I just know the guy. I told him he needs to tell her what he’s feeling & break up because its unfair to the both of them (mostly to her, the girl I don’t know).
Post # 10
I think they should break up. I also think you should stay mum on it! He needs to figure it out for himself..
Post # 11
Well, he asks me for advice on what to do about it all the time. I told him HE needs to decide what to ultimately do, but in my opinion I told him I didn’t think it was fair to either of them if the commitment isn’t there. I didn’t actually tell him he needs to break up with her.
Post # 12
They definitely need to call it quits! People are not in LDR relationships for convenience… the relationship has to be worth the trouble. He’s obviously not into her & he needs to stop being selfish. I’d tell him to let her go & find someone closer to home!