- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
This is just a vent. I know that until he feels better there is not much I can do but support him in his goals and masterbate a lot
Fiance has gained about 100 pounds sence I met him.I’m quite happy with him the way his is. I am just at attracted to him as I was and would be fine if he never lost a pound. But his weight gain has had TONs of effects on him-and THAT’S what is effecting our sex life.
His mood– he’s grumpier and less playfull. He never flirts anymore. he says it’s becasue of his self consciousness. We would grab and paw at each other randomly, but that has all but stopped. When I try to cop a feel is get pushed away and told “I’m being creepy” No more flirting, no more hugs. He doesn’t want to leave the house becasue of his size. He also has needed new clothes quite a few times in the last year and now he refuses to buy new pants for himself-even though his are snug again. We’d need to go to a specialty store (his size 48’s are too tight) and I know he wants to avoid that. After everything, I just want to go and do it myself-but I already feel like his mother.
Helping him with his wieght loss has kind of sucked the magic spark away from our love life– I’m helping him use MFP, and we’re always talking about calorie goals and finding new ways to work out together. He’s really emotional about the whole prosess and I’m supporting him all the way. But after all day of talking about emotional issues I’m too drained to deal with anything else. He also has IBS and thyriod issues and has usually kept the gory details to himself. He’s opening up to me I’m just not into the idea of sex at the end of the day after all of it.
His hygene: I’m not sure if he’s depressed and that’s causing him to forgo simple things like showers, or of something in his new diet is causing the new orders, but his B.O. AND his breath reek almost all the time. He’s pretty fragile about everything right now, so I only have brought things up in a indirect way ( I bought a new toothpaste and mouthwash combo for us, bought new AXE body wash/spray set for him, saying I loved the scent, asking him to shower with me) and none of it has worked. I judt can’t tell him about these new symptoms yet-not with how his mood has been. He’s really emotional right now and I’m his rock. I know I’ll have to address it eventially, but I can’t do it now.
Sex- it’s pretty much stopped. He still wants it, but he just lays down and I do all the work. Then he’s done and that’s that. It’s hard to get ramped up without the usual foreplay we used to have. Plus with the smell issue AND all the wieght of his emotions on my shoulders it’s just too much. We have it about every 2 weeks. I masturbate about once a day. It’s even hard to think of him when I do it. I usually think of the “him” that I first met. Shoot-even the “him” that was him 2 months ago before we started this.
His doctor told him he needs to get serious, as he’s prediabetic and has high blood pressure. Also, with the wedding coming up he’s so upset that he’s going to be “the biggest” person in all of our pictures. He was positive about it all when we first started and then it all kind of caved in. Instead of quiting his diet and binge eating he talked to me about what he’s feeling and I help him through it. I just figured after 2 months it would have been over by now.
He’s lost about 10 pounds, which is great! But to him-it’s not coming off fast enough. I’ve told him NONE of how I’m feeling, as I can imagine that this is a hard road for him and he needs support and love-not frustration and critisism. It’s just kind of sucking the fun out of our love life.
I bought him 3 new video games this weekend in hope that would lighten him mood, and he seems more content, but not happy.
I just want to give up, and I want to know when the excitement of his progress with kick in and he’ll be happy about life again
EDIT: if I am being a completely insensitive bitch and you want to call me out of it, I’m not going to flame. Hell, I’d agree with you. I kind of feel like I am.