(Closed) "Helping" him out…how much/how little?

posted 4 years ago in Rings
  • poll: How involved were you in helping SO choose your ring?

    We shopped for/designed the ring together; I knew exactly what the ring was going to look like.

    I gave him hints and information, but didn't choose the exact ring.

    I let him have full reign and was totally surprised.

  • Post # 16
    1154 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    I basically fell in love with the same setting, but with different stone shapes (emerald vs cusion vs asscher) and different side stones.  I had sent all of the inspiration photos to the jeweler and she ordered in center stone options for us. DH and I went in together to look at all of the center stones and I told DH that he could choose which he loved best and surprise me. So, I was a mixture between designing it together and just giving him ideas. I knew exactly which setting, just different stone shapes in that same style.

    **edited to add that after seeing them all, I LOVED the emerald cut the best, but let DH choose. He had been resistant to step cuts before seeing them in person, but said that after he saw them, he loved the emerald the best as well. πŸ™‚

    Post # 17
    1286 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2018 - Omaha, NE

    I picked my ring out, and I’m glad I did! 

    I am a very picky person, with food, with jewelry, with outfits, and there was no way I was going to have zero hand in what what was going on mine forever lol! About a year and a half before we got enaged I did a boatload of research on what I liked (so as to give hints/direction) and I discovered moissanite and found 2 rings I really loved and couldn’t decide which I liked better. 

    So, I sat him down and told him all about moissanite and why I liked it and asked which ring he liked better, and that’s the ring he got me! He told me he was glad I came to talk about it because he had no clue about anything to do with jewelry, how to pick, what to pick, what I liked, etc. If things had been different and he told me he wanted to pick, I would have let him, but I’m very happy with the decision we made together πŸ™‚

    Post # 18
    926 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    Fiance did ALL of the research about the diamond and it was really important to him. All I told him was that I wanted a round brilliant cut solitaire and he took it from there.

    Post # 19
    822 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I’m a bit of a control freak and very picky.  That being said, it was VERY hard for me to not pick the ring myself.  I gave him lots of pictures that are all very similar in style so there shouldn’t be too much room for him to get something else lol.  I’m still waiting but I know it will be soon and I’ve recently had horrible dreams of the proposal and not liking the ring!  I’m just banking on him knowing me well enough that he sticks to the photos I sent him πŸ™‚

    Post # 22
    134 posts
    Blushing bee

    I am not engaged yet [but hopefully soon I will be] but my future Fiance knows EXACTLY what I want. I am extremely picky about everything. It should be a crime. He’s very traditional & wanted to pick the ring all on his own but I explained to him that I wear minimal jewelry & absolutely NO rings on a daily basis. And because of that I want to make sure the ring(s) I wear every day until the end of time fit my personality; he understood.

    We went into a jewelry store to get some ideas & our sizes. I didnt find anything I liked until we were leaving the store…this one ring caught my eye & when I tried it on it took my breath away; I told him that’s the one. This was a couple months ago & since then he’s been real secretive with his budgeting & savings soooooooo I am sure that means it’s coming. :D!

    Post # 24
    241 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I picked it out mostly. I wanted a plain solitaire. That was really important to me so I showed him a lot of examples of what I didn’t want ha. Then I emailed him the link to our local jewelry store and my wish list. He then chose which one he liked and put a stone in it. 

    Then I picked out all my own bands too. πŸ˜‚ I’m picky. Because I’m plain and I don’t like a lot of detailed stuff. 

    Post # 25
    1701 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    “…but my guy is one who seems to need and want a lot of guidance“.

    I’d say do as the PP said. Here is exactly the settings and stones I like. I would be happy with either of these. If you find something outside these that appeal to you, lets chat. If you want me to take care of everything and have them send the ring to you, I’m happy to do that also. 

    Try to limit your choices to 2-3 and be clear if you want a setting from a particular maker. If you love an intricite Verragio setting, but it is beyond your budget, don’t leave it to him to find a budget option. If you want only moissy X from seller X, be clear about that. He won’t know that a H&A from MoissCo is differnt from that $15 one off Ebay.

    Post # 26
    992 posts
    Busy bee

    He wanted to go shopping together to make sure I got what I wanted.  I, however like somewhat of a surprise, so we settled on two options and from there it was up to him to choose.

    Post # 27
    134 posts
    Blushing bee

    View original reply
    msmeow85 :  omgosh I’m so nervous to post it lol especially because it’s from a brick & mortar πŸ˜‚ & a double halo. I’ve stalked these boards enough to know neither go over well haha. As soon as I find the oic I snuck while at the store, I’ll show you. πŸ˜ƒ

    Post # 28
    355 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    My boyfriend likes the idea of me not knowing what the ring will be. I’m pretty laid back about what it looks like, just a few things that I would or wouldn’t like, so I’ve just told him. I know that he knows nothing about rings, so I just told him about what he wants to look for in a ring (eg. Not all silver coloured rings are the same metal, not all white stones are diamonds haha), told him that I would really prefer the ring be under $500, and I’ve shown him a picture of the type of ring a like. I feel like that’s enough on my end!

    Post # 29
    747 posts
    Busy bee

    I drew him a picture! Which he then had to interpret as I’m definitely not artistically minded! 

    And I told him that diamonds were an absolute no and not to spend too much.

    This was during a fairly jokey conversation about 3 years before he asked me. I’d entirely forgotten about the conversation and the picture. 

    The ring he chose was almost identical. I’ve still no idea how he managed it! (I know it wasn’t custom made)

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