(Closed) Helping save for my own ring.. lame?

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It’s not weird at all and don’t worry about what the media tells us engagements should be like. It sounds like he is a wonderful, responsible man who loves you very much. The important thing is the love you have for each other and that you will be married. Yay! How you two decide to get there is a personal choice.

Post # 4
7770 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Why would that be lame?  When you are married everything is both of yours anyway.  Lots of people do it.

Post # 5
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I thought you meant that you are saving your own money for a ring.Sounds like you have a good hardworking man.I wouldn’t worry about it.

Post # 6
3232 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@kellmerr:  Ditto.  I totally agree.

Post # 7
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

You’re living together, sharing finances and have a daughter. It’s normal to be involved in budgeting for a ring at this point. If you weren’t living together, I’d say that’s a purchase he should be taking care of on his own. But here, it’s  not that big a deal.



Post # 8
5400 posts
Bee Keeper

Nope you’re not alone! 

Post # 9
986 posts
Busy bee

This is NOT a bad thing – you’ve got a hardworking man, and even if you pick the ring out yourself, he can still surprise you when he asks! ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 10
196 posts
Blushing bee

+1 to all above! Not weird or lame.

Post # 12
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@bbsoon2be:  Nah, I think your situation is fine. My ring won’t be a surprise either and I’m fine with that. I’m too Type A hahaha.


Post # 13
6355 posts
Bee Keeper

Not lame! You’re going to spend the rest of your lives together, your finances are shared. You’re the one good with money, it makes sense that you’re the one who makes sure this savings project stays on track. As long as you two are comfy with this, I see no problem at all.

My guy is terrible at surprises too. I knew what i thought was going to feel like ‘way too much’ about his proposal, as he prepared for it. I feared we had accidentally sucked all the romance out of it by sharing too much. At some point I realized that nobody (important, anyway) said it had to be a surprise. It’s not a birthday party, it’s a life decision. And the fact that he really wanted to share the details with me and make it so mutual… I can only see that as a good sign about our marriage to come.

By the way, his proposal ended up feeling very special to both of us. It wasn’t dry, unromantic, or free of surprises. I was truly worried for nothing.

Post # 14
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My fiance proposed with a Tanzanite ring to make it official while he’s still saving for the diamond ring. The plan was def always for a diamond which I was set on.  It actually worked out so that I’m getting the diamond ring in a couple weeks but as the circumstances were, I actually went and picked out the diamond and told them what ring I wanted myself. (I only wanted something very specific and my Fiance knew this so that wouldn’t have been a surprise). I’m visiting family in NJ but we live in South Africa – we ended up finding out the diamonds are – shockingly – significantly cheaper here in NY than in SA.

But even then, I absolutely knew he was going to propose. We had talked about it loads and wanted to do it before I went home to visit family so that I could plan the wedding while here.

He still did a ridiculously incredible amazing and insanely romantic job of surprising me with his proposal.  

So even though you know all the details.. that doesn’t mean the proposal won’t be amazing.  My Fiance still floored me.. ๐Ÿ™‚   

Post # 15
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I think its sweet that you two are working together to get a ring.  I understand the whole surprise thing though.  My Fiance sucks at surprises too, it would’ve been nice but….

hey we’re high school sweethearts and share a similar story like you.  We have two little boys, live together, i handle the finances (like yours this is not his strong suit).  He works alot to provide for the family while im on mat leave.  our finances have been “one” for so long, there was and continues to be no clear line of separation.  After all, once you’re married it all combines anyway.  by the sounds of it, youve got yourself a responsible man, taking care of his family.  Good luck to yous and look forward toseeing the ring!

ps: have you two been ring shopping yet? Got anything in mind?

Post # 16
5064 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

We are saving for my ring together. In fact I made the first cash payment last month. We already share a house, mortgage, bills.  My feeling is that I should help pay it, the ring is for me after all. I don’t think you are a weirdo or lame. Everyone’s circumstances are different. Whatever works for you guys as a family.

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