(Closed) Help..not sure about putting parents on Invitation

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think based on information alone “together with their parents is sufficient”, but if you’ve been around the bee long enough, you’ll see that often parents have other ideas!  I would say if it doesn’t bother you to list their names, ask them if they’d like to be listed.  If you don’t want to…. ’tis easier to ask forgiveness than permission??

As for welcome speech, we had a 3 way split for wedding costs with our parents and we still thanked everyone for coming ourselves and each of our fathers gave a toast.

Post # 4
1103 posts
Bumble bee

We just said “together with their families” on our invitation. We had $ help from my parents and Mother-In-Law, but Father-In-Law isn’t really part of our lives so “families” seemed more appropriate than “parents”.

We had an MC for our reception (one of the groomsmen) who did the welcomes/thankyous/housekeeping etc. My parents gave speeches and we both did too (MIL was too nervous). I don’t really equate speeches or toasts with financial contributions.

Post # 5
23 posts
  • Wedding: May 2012

Both our parents are separated too. I am not including their names in my invitation because it would bother me that it sounds like they are still married.  But i think “together with their parents” is the best option if you feel compelled to include them. 

Post # 6
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

If you do decide to name them, you should list them one above the other without the word “and.”  With the exceptions of children, the word “and” on an invitation or envelope means that the two people named are married.

Post # 7
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

We avoided the same drama with “Together with their families.” We plan on giving a “thanks for coming” speech at our own reception. Our parents are welcome to make toasts or whatever, but we will thank everyone.

We are paying for some of our wedding. My Mom has contributed the most of our parents, then my dad, his parents haven’t, but I didn’t want to get into the “wedding politics” of it.

Post # 8
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We paid for our own wedding, but put “together with their families” on the invite.  For me it was more the idea that everyone was supportive of the marriage (as opposed to involved in writing the checks) that the statement made that was important to me.

Post # 9
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Both sets of our parents are helping us out financially, so I’d like to recognize them. My parents are divorced, so it’s going to be:

Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Smith
…their daughter…
…son of…
Mr. and Mrs. Tom Jones

I think it also depends on your parent’s wishes. Thankfully, mine are amicably divorced, so being on the same line on the invite/same row in the church (my Dad’s remarried) won’t be an issue. They’re going to meet my Future In-Laws all together- but I checked with my Mom first, to make sure she was comfortable with everything.

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